At least I think it is week four. Still so many slebs around it is difficult to keep track. I will get better at this as the contestants are winnowed out and things start to focus. So far we have the very good, the middle order, the ok and then the dire. And, as ever, the dire seem to last longer than we think for all sorts of weird reasons. Stuart who is AWFUL has a little puppy dog face and looked so wounded when Craig said he proved the lie to the adage that everyone could dance. As soon as I saw the quivering lip I knew he would survive because the Judges were being Nasty to him. And he did.
Tom and Iveta did a nice foxtrot very sweet and delightful and Tom, who is goodlooking but seems to have a total lack of charisma and seems nice but dim, got through. He was wearing a sort of barrow boy cap and looked rather fetching. Think he knew it too....
Jake, the bald guy from Eastenders (I wonder if there has every been a year when we have not had an Eastender take part?) is a simply terrific dancer and his jive was so fearless and energetic it nearly got out of hand. But he really is good and one to watch.
Pasha and Caroline - I don't know who Caroline is quite frankly but she has a great grin and dances beautifully and Pasha is soooooo sweet.
Sunetra and Brendon - Salsa this week, not as good as their stunning American Smooth last week, but still pretty good and then there was a wardrobe Malfunction at the end and Brendon's trouser seams parted company. On tonight's show there was a shot of Judge Darcy letting out a shriek as she spotted.....well what? This partnership seems to be working well and Brendon has certainly mellowed in the last few years, amazing what marriage and fatherhood can do.
Natalie is a simply gorgeous dancer and lovely woman but she was lumbered with Tim Endicott, from Flog it or Cash in the Attic or Money for Old Rope or whatever the programme is called. He is rather full of himself, sweats tremendously and is very touchy feely. In rehearsal he always wears a scarf tied pirate fashion round his head and there are two schools of thought regarding this. He either wears it to stop his hair dye dripping when he is perspring so heavily or it keeps his wig on. I think it is both actually. Pasa Doble this week and I cannot think of words to describe its awfulness and his lack lustre cape twirling.
Pixie Lott or whatever she is called and her look alike partner Trent give me the willies. They look like refugees from Village of the Damned, all blonde and blue eyed. Actually Trent looks like a refugee from Thunderbirds as well. I find them oddly chilling. They did a rumba and were pretty pleased with themselves and she shed tears and found it all terribly intense and then when the judges were less than pleased look well put out.
I won't go through every single pair but just say that Judy Murray and Anton did a tango that was pretty wooden; Alison and Aliash had a good time; Ola and Steve, not bad and he was throwing her around with one hand and holding her over his head, all very scary; Simon and Kristina who were in the dance off last week, did a Charleston dressed up as a pearly King and Queen. WHY? We also had a VT of them down the East End singing cockney songs with a real pearly K and Q and it was excruciatingly cringeworthy. My mute button came into force. Mark from Essex did a terrific quick step and is totally endearing and is loving every minute.
OK other comments:
Darcy was wearing the most gorgeous dress and looked simply stunning. She is a classy lady and an excellent judge. Len is over egging the cockney barrer boy bit and is beginning to get boring. If he says You came out Full On and gave it a go one more time I think I shall put my foot through the screen. Bruno is a sweetie but the only judge who is spot on and fair is Craig and he gets booed for it.
Tess is totally and utterly dire. Talentless and clueless and gets louder as the evening wears on. She says Look they are all on their feet even more than Brucie used to and has no natural wit and repartee which her co-host Claudia has in spades. The upstairs section after the dances is now much more hilarious and funny and that is because Claude is there. Bung Tess back up and let Claudia front the show, she would do it so much better.
So the dance off was Mark - everyone was shocked at this - and Tim and thank goodness Tim went. Once I used to sit biting my fingernails waiting for the result, now I just check a website around 11 pm and can found out who has gone so I can sit and watch the results show totally relaxed.
Tonight the results show had as special guests, singing a duet together, Tony Bennett and Lady Ga Ga. I will make no comment on this and draw a veil over proceedings........