It seems that Ruby who I dubbed the Winsome Weeper at the start of this series, has had a spat on Twitter with somebody who got fed up with her doe like eyes and puppy dog demeanour, and it all got rather vicious. Why do people to this on Twitter? Of course we all know that this series was filmed in the summer and the winner has been chosen else Ruby would probably not have taken to the twitwaves if the competition was still going on as it would have spoiled her image. As this series progresses I am finding her more acutely irritating than the Oh So Clever Frances. More of all this later.
This week it seemed as if most people underperformed in one of the challenges and some in all of them and it was clear who were in danger of being ejected from The Tent. Lots of yeasty things this week which means the result is dependent on how the proving process takes place and as I bake bread and have suffered a dreadful loaf with underpoving I knew exactly how dangerous this process can be. My secret is to stand it near a radiator if it is winter and it is on and then I get a lovely rise but this is not always possible. Last night lots of bakers hovering and watching and prodding and going Oooh do you think it is ready?
Howard, dear lovely Howard who I adore, decided last night to make hemp bread. Yes hemp. I thought that was stuff you made ropes out of but there you go. When Mary Berry saw what he was doing she looked rather unsure and then came out with the best line of the night 'this looks like it is going to be good for me' which really says it all and is the death of a bake.
Paul had his usual enigmatic goodluckmateyouaregoingtoneedit expression on his face. Am beginning to wonder if he has any other.
Of course we all knew Frances would be a smartypants and she dished up her large bun in a big coffee cup so it looked like a cappo or latte or something and it is my heartfelt desire that one week she cocks up completely and is sent home with all her paraphenalia. Last week her biscuit tower collapsed and I really thought that might be it, but she is safe for a bit as there are others who are more worthy of ejection than her. Still, I live in hope.
Adore Glenn too. He is simply delightful but I knew disaster was just around the corner when he said he was cooking his showstopper pastries and putting caramel in the bottom of the tin. I shrieked at the TV 'Don't do it Glenn. They will stick!' and they did and when they did come out they unravelled into a long sticky trail of pastry. I felt so sorry for him and he was in tears when he was being intereviewed about it all. Bless.
Becca - she is great fun with a happy go lucky Oh Sod it attitude I find rather appealing. Did a very good imitation of Paul's Liverpool accent as well.
Kimberley - another star. She takes criticism on the chin, smiles, goes away and gets on with it.
Christine - seemingly unflappable and unfailingly nice when she and Howard both had a disastrous bake they hugged each other and cheered each other up.
OK so now we come to Ruby. Dear sweet Ruby - not. Presented to us as a young, beautiful philosophy student who wings it as she has been studying 'so hard and hasn't had time to practice'. HAH! Loud snort of derision. Ruby who cried the first week and had a nation (not me) going Ah poor thing. Ruby who every week says she has done really really badly; Ruby who comes up to Paul and Mary and say 'sorry' because her creation is 'dreadful'; Ruby doe eyed and with the demeanour of a wounded kitten; Ruby who no doubt knows that Paul has an eye for skinny, young bakers and is playing it for all she is worth. Ruby who is incredibly annoying.
Second week running she is Star Baker and the others all clap and try to look pleased for her when I would think that most of the older, less glam, slightly larger and less endowed with beauty, are wishing her to Jericho. I am hoping that Mary is unmoved by all this and will remind Paul now and then that he is judging the baking and not the baker.
It was clear that the one to go was a choice between Howard and Glenn and when Howard went Glenn was clearly stunned and said it should have been him. I do hope that dear sweet Howard can carry on with his baking and write about it. I also think that some snappy TV producer should sign him up as I think he is a television natural.
So what awaits next week? We shall see. No doubt Ruby will be in full flutter eyes mode again but her cover has been broken now and we know that she has a temper and is not as sweet as she appears.
I wonder if she will pick up my comments on Twitter? Oo-er missus. Custard creams at dawn....
PS: anybody knew what an apricot garonne was before this show? I certainly didn't. I'm not even sure I have spelled it right