Random Goes on a Cruise

Bobbing along

I am going to have a huge amount to post when I can get online. The onboard wifi is pretty poor and so slow. I am so used to flicking on and off the internet and email and Google quickly that watching a little round thing go whirring on and on while waiting for emails to appear is really tedious. I have no fault about this ship – staff are excellent and helpful and friendly. The reception staff who have non stop flack all day are so patient I am amazed. Some people are so objectionable I am surprised they do not deck them (forgive the pun). But they need to upgrade their wifi.

A few days ago we were becalmed. Apparently a warning light had shown up so the captain shut down the engines. He announced it over the entire ship as of course we had suddenly noticed that we were not moving. He said ‘there is no need for alarm’ and, needless to say some people started wittering on. One chap next to me muttered something under his breath about the Titanic and his wife immediately told him not to be so ‘bloody stupid and to shut the **** up’ a sentiment which which I wholeheartedly agreed.

So we sat and bobbed up and down for some hours until we were on the move and all ok. I have to say the words of the Ancient Mariner came into my mind “a painted ship on a painted ocean”. All we needed was a dead albatross….

I have now settled into a quiet routine on board and have decided that I am going to do nothing at all. I am not joining in deck quoits or novelty golf or anything else. I am being incredibly anti social from that point of view though I have had lots of conversations with really nice people since getting on board. All friendly and chatty. A few grumps but that is to be  I last did so and I wonder if the stories will have worn well. I think he has rather fallen out of fashion.

since writing this I have had a chat with another passenger who has spent time with Bob who I found rather overwhelming at first and she says that underneath all the chat and non stop boasting, there is a kind man. She went ashore at Barbados on her own and he made sure she was ok and looked after her. She called him a ‘gentleman’ . I was rather touched to hear this and am now resolved to be less judgemental.

Currently typing this in the atrium with cup of coffee to hand and all is restful. Lots of people just sitting reading and it is rather nice.

Cartagena - hot hot hot

Two posts up today as wifi is stronger now we are in port. I have stayed on board today. Yesterday we were in Cartagena and the heat and humidity was awful. Climbed up to the top of this fort we were visiting and my chest tightened up and I had trouble breathing. Abandoned the tour when we were back at the bottom and took a taxi back to the ship where I keeled over. Am ok now but we are at Panama and the heat and humidity even worse so decided to stay in situ. The contrast between the gleaming new city and the old was immense but both were crowded, noisy and, to me, unbearably overwhelmimg. I was glad to get out of it.

 

Barbados and Grenada

We have just left Barbados and Grenada behind us and are now at sea for a couple of days. After spending over a week sitting around doing absolutely nothing it came as quite a shock to be doing things, and two days in a row as well. Shock horror.

We had booked on two tours around each island and glad that we did – independent travelling is not for me these days, if it ever was, I like to be picked up, taken around and deposited back safely. So we had a coach picking us up at the terminal but it was heaving as about four cruise ships had docked and organised chaos seemed to be the order of the day.

The main thing that struck me about both these islands is the contrast between the wealthy and the poor. On the West coast, called the millionaire coast with good reason, we had Steven Spielberg’s house, Elton John’s home and a hundred yards away, a series of shacks. I have to be honest and say that we saw some lovely parts of Barbados, I did not feel particularly that I wanted to return. Grenada, which is a much smaller island, felt different. More friendly, more welcoming somehow. Just my perception.

Smaller coach this time, more a mini-bus, and after we set off I could understand why. The roads are so precipitous and winding that it would have been impossible to use any larger vehicle. In the morning the sun shone and the views across the bay were just so beautiful it was difficult not to take endless photos which I did (deleted half of them and kept the best, oh the joys of digital photography). First stop was Frederick Fort, named after one of the sons of George III. I gather that Grenada was handed backwards and forwards between the French and the English numerous times. We were told the history by Alice, a Grenadian, who had the patter and humour down to a fine art.

We then visited a waterfall deep in the middle of vegetation and lushness all around. I have forgotten the name and shall look it up when wifi is available. There was a young guy there whose trick for us visitors was to jump into the waterfall from a high ledge which he did with great aplomb, though I noticed he made the sign of the cross before he plunged in. Came up grinning to great applause from us all.

The whole island is covered in banana trees, cocoa pods, bread fruit, lemons, papayas – all in abundance and it always gives me a slight shock to see produce which we can only get in Sainsbury’s or Waitrose just hanging there.

By the afternoon a tropical downpour hit us all and blimey, when it rains in Grenada, it rains. Being British and stiff upper lipped, most of the coach whipped out pack a macs and rain coats and donned them. It was lovely rain, actually soft and warm and I thought it was fun. Some of the others did not…

Because of the wind, the captain would not come right inshore or get too close (he is an Italian and is probably wary of repeating the disaster of one of his compatriots several years ago who fell into a lifeboat and deserted his sinking ship) and so we had to be tendered ashore. All the staff swung into action and it was all done with great efficiency, even the entertainment staff were working hard and I am sure they could have done with the day off.

So now back to sea and Cartagena next.

Sun bed war

Well it was only a matter of time. Towels at dawn. People are just so selfish and predictable. No sunbeds anywhere that did not have paraphernalia and towels draped over them. I woke early this morning, lovely day so decided to go for a walk round the deck. This was at 7.30 am and all the best spots were bagged and beds covered. Totally pathetic.

This morning I managed to get a bed and was reading away. It was a hot humid day and suddenly I felt spots of rain and then we had a torrential downpour. It was quite fun as it was still warm but I turned my bed over and went and took shelter in a corner, along with others and after about ten minutes it stopped and the sun came out and all was well. Two beds next to me had been empty for three hours, yes three hours, and then out came the couple who had bagged them and lo there was lamentation in the land and cursing and swearing because everything was saturated and all their stuff soaking wet. I, along with a few others, sat and smirked. I stayed out on deck for another hour and then it got too hot so I went indoors by which time some sun beds had been unused for three hours. I simply cannot understand the mentality of it all, I mean these people must have set their alarms to get up early in the morning to go and get a bed. Mad.

I ended up on one of the top decks near the Plantation bistro which has 24 hour coffee and tea and water and found a seat in the shade and sat and read. I would lift my eyes from the page and look out and there was the ocean, blue skies and sun and just sailing along and, gosh, it is wonderful. As a child I was used to travelling in troop ships as my father was in the army and I loved being at sea and I still have that feeling now. Despite being surrounded by people I have relaxed into the trip and this morning was talking to a nice lady from Scotland and she felt the same and retreats to her cabin when she wants a bit of peace. I am just going with the flow, feeing totally relaxed and letting the timelessness of it all wash over me. We arrive in Barbados in a day and after that we have two weeks when we call at somewhere every 36 hours before we go through the Panama Canal. It is all very exciting.

Tonight is one of the Formal nights where we dress up for dinner and it makes it an occasion. On the whole everyone makes an effort to look nice in the evening even though it is relaxed and casual. It is good to see.

Later- I attended the show last night as it was called On Broadway. Now I have huge admiration for the entertainers on board cruise ships. The work they do, the unending cheerfulness, the sheer bloody grind of it all, but I have to be honest and say that I was in physical pain listening to the singing. Mikes so close to the mouth I am surprised they did not swallow them, soft singing which then ascended to a bellow like crescendo, singing in what sounded like Swahili so unintelligible was it….dire. Some of them had good voices, particularly one young singer who sang I could have danced all Night from My Fair Lady, but unless she gets some singing lessons soon she will be wrecked. The gap between the top of the voice and the chest voice was so wide you could drive a lorry through it. And yes I am being hypercritical I know but when we ended up with a scena from Les Miss at decibel level I fled back to my cabin.

And what these entertainers would do without Andrew Lloyd Webber I do not know...

 

 

 

Random thoughts at sea

Ok one week in and I freely admit it has not been one of unalloyed pleasure. Being on board a cruise ship takes a bit of adjusting to and, as I live on my own and like my own company, the sensation of being surrounded by people is a bit overwhelming. I have a cabin to myself which I determined on from the start so that when it all gets a bit much, I can retreat thereto, put the Do not Disturb sign on the door and have a brew up and a bit of quiet.

The weather is getting warmer now and it never fails to amaze me how the sight of the sun causes the mass shedding of clothes and exposure of bits that I, personally, feel need to remain under wraps. Women over 60, unless you are Helen Mirren, should not be wearing bikinis, they really should not. Let us face it, we get saggy. I see myself naked every day in the mirror and though I am adjusted to the sight it still sometimes comes as a shock to realise that the lissom, lithe bod I had years ago is no more. I have come to terms with the fact that these days I look better with clothes on than off. I am perfectly prepared to loll on a sun-bed in a nice one piece swimming costume with tummy control and proper cup shape but the middle droopy bits stay well hidden. Part of me though does admit to a sneaky admiration of the woman I saw take a dip in the swimming pool yesterday wearing a minute bikini – the water was being tossed backwards and forwards and spraying over the side with the motion of the boat but in she went. Must have been 70 if she was a day. I was In fear for her life until she grabbed the rail and crawled out.

And I am aware that some of you, dear readers, may be thinking I am being cruel and agist but as I am not excluding myself from the above, I feel I can say what I think.

What always amazes me though is that men seem to feel that they are all fine fellows and have no compunction swaggering around the deck with their huge bellies and Simon Cowell moobs on show, obviously feeling they are being admired by all and sundry. Yes, alright I am being sexist….

Anyway, enough.

Having spent two days lying on my bed gazing at the ceiling, feeling like death and wondering why I had decided to go on a cruise, all is now gemutlich. I am sitting in the observation lounge in A comfy chair just looking at the horizon, blue sky and sea and white fluffy clouds and realising that nobody can get to me, nobody is going to ask me to do anything, I do not have to hoover, clean, wash up or cook for the next five weeks and that is a seriously good feeling I can tell you.

Madeira and sunshine

Warm and sunny at last and great to see Madeira again. I have been before and like the island very much. Disembarked and got on the coach and felt a strong sense of deja vu. Feels like a commuter train. Most people were on their phones:

“What? It’s me. Yes Me. Yes I am in Madeira. I am on the coach.

What’s the weather like there?

Oh it is that cold is it. Well lovely and sunny here ha ha”

This coversation with slight amendments carried on for some time.

We finally got going and climbed higher and higher and round and round until we were 2,000 feet above sea level. Madeira is really one big mountain and all the houses cling to its side as you get higher and higher. It is such a pretty place, agapanthas and swathes of bougainvilla cascading down the side of the road, the houses and the land and, because of the temperate climate, are on show practically the entire year round. When we got out to stretch our legs and look at the wonderful views, the air was crisp and clear and so fresh after breathing in the air conditioning on the ship. I had put my head outside a door one day to get a gulp of the briny but immediately shot back in as the cold and wind hit me.

The tour ended with a wine tasting in which neither of us was interested so we got off the coach and told the guide we would make our own way back. Then off for a stroll through Funchal. Last time I was hear the entire front walkway was dug up and alterations were being made. It was noisy and dirty. Well now they are finished and it looks terrific. Wide walks to stroll along with gardens along the way.

Now back at the ship, had a shower and feet up in the cabin with a cuppa. We have a stretch at sea before we reach the next stop, Barbados. It is warming up nicely and I am fully expecting the Battle of the Sunbeds to start soon...

A few pics of a lovely day

Amsterdam photos

Just popping up a few pics. Quite difficult to get good shots when you are in a boat or a coach but did a bit of work on them and here they are.

First week

Not the most auspicious week as I had a recurrance of the stomach trouble of the week before, oddly enough I had just had lemon meringue pie as dessert which is what set me off last week. I think I had better steer clear in future.  So a bit of a wash out as I spent the last 24 hours languishing in my cabin and feeling very sorry for myself.  We are docked at Lisbon but, sadly, I was not able to go on the excursion as I am still feeling a bit wobbly. Very annoying.

The weather is beginning to pick up and sun peering through the clouds so feel that it will be getting warmer in a day or two. Ventured out on deck for about ten seconds the other day and got back in quick as it was pretty chilly. Looking forward to just sea watching in the warm soon.

So not much to report at the moment. Crew and staff on board are all helpful and friendly and my steward is a sweetie. He is bringing me extra tea bags and milk as I have told him that two bags is not enough for me and when I was not well kept checking up to see how I was. He calls me Miss Elaine which seems to have a colonial feel about it!

He is also adept at leaving me an animal made out of towels each night. So far I have had an elephant and a dog and last night a frog. 

The wifi is very patchy so may not be able to post too often, but will do so when in port as obviously the signal is stronger there.

Au reservoir

First day

Have to tell you the sheer effort require to get on board a cruise ship is enough to make you wonder if it Is worth it. Car picked us up and off we went to Tilbury laden down with suitcases and tote bags and gawd knows what an the rush hour was on and traffic dire. We had allowed plenty of time thank goodness so we arrived at our allotted slotWe then had to produce:

• yellow fever certificate
• passport
• travel insurance
• confirmation of medical insurance and coverage for all pre-existing conditions (with the average age of this ship they obviously are worried we might keel over)
• visas

we went from desk to desk, all staff save one smiling and helpful, offered a glass of wine on the way in case we needed assistance, and then we were issued with an onboard card which you use for everything, it is a cashless ship and I must say it all makes sense and is very easy. I am clutching it to my bosom like a talisman at all times.

Finding my cabin was a nightmare. First off all I was totally unaware which way I was facing so telling me I was fore or aft meant nothing at all. So I hied off to this cabin and then my card woul not open the door so the steward came up to me and asked if I was Herr Schitt or words to that effect. I had transposed the numbers and was on the wrong side. A rather nice young man (blonde, quite good looking I did notice) took me gently by the hand and guided me to my cabin and opened the door for me. I thanked him profusely and said no doubt he was used to shepherding confused old ladies around, Oh no not at all he murmured poilitely but I could tell he was lying....

I will post pictures of Amsterdam tomorrow when I have sorted them out and I have a quiet time. It was pretty cold in the city and incredibly crowded as it was Saturday and the sales were on and after fighting through crowds who were thronging into H&M, and the Body Shop and all the others I could get at home, Stella and I gave up and just sat down and had a cup of tea and a cake. The canal trip we were on was very restful and interesting and the guide excellent. Of course, time is limited so not much can be seen but it was good to see Amsterdam again.

So first day over and tomorrow we have three days before Lisbon and time to relax, check out the library, check out where everything is and get our bearings. It has all been a tad confusing.