Random Jottings

A re-read: Kept in the Dark by AnthonyTrollope

I think everyone is familiar with the Barchester Chronicles and the Palliser series of political novels by this author and those were the titles I read first when I discovered Trollope some years ago.  I then started to read my way through his stand alone titles, and there are plenty to be getting on with, and this particular one was a total mystery to me and I had not heard of it until I came across a copy in a second hand book shop. It was the Folio edition and I though £8 was a good price for such a lovely book.

Trollope wrote Kept in the Dark  pretty quickly in four months and it appeared in serial form in the Magazine Good Words between May and December 1882 and in two volumes in the same year.  It was therefore the last of his novels to be published in his lifetime as he died in the December.

When reading about the author and his works I have found the idea that he writes about strong women mentioned repeatedly, but on the whole (and there are exceptions) I find a lot of his female protagonists a bit "wet" for want of a better word and here we have a prime example.

The heroine of Kept in the Dark, Cecilia Holt, keeps  a secret from her fiance, the fact that she had been engaged before and to a particularly unsavory baronet.  Once she had realised the kind of man she had promised to marry, she terminated the engagement.  Sir Francis Geraldine took this badly and, naturally, preferred to tell the story that it was he who had decided against marrying Cecilia.  When a year or so later, Cecilia meets and falls in love with Mr Western, she keeps this story to herself.  Her new fiance had also been jilted and, as this is a novel and coincidences are allowed, it was by a young lady who then went on to marry a cousin of Sir Francis.  When Cecilia hears this story she finds it somewhat difficult to mention her own connection with this family and, while she decides she will tell her fiance at some time, the right occasion never arises and she marries him while keeping him In the Dark.

This secret weighs heavily with her.  Now we might wonder what all the fuss is about - what is wrong with breaking off an engagement?  But this is not the 21st century, this is Victorian society and soon rumours about this situation arise, encouraged by Sir Francis who wishes to be revenged on the woman who threw him over.  He also takes it upon himself to tell Mr Western of their aborted engagement.  Not only does he wish to hurt Cecilia but he has a reason for disliking Mr Western who accused him of fraud in the past.

Mr Western throws a hissy fit and is unable to forgive this deception and the fact that she has kept him In the Dark, and without listening to his wife or any explanation, flounces off to live abroad. As you do.  Cecilia then finds she is with child, but does this bring him running back - no it does not.  His stubbornness and intransigence is only broken by his strong willed sister who goes to see him in Dresden where he has  fled and who tears a strip or two off him.  He says he will go back only if his wife asks for his forgiveness to which Lady Graham rightly replies she has no reason to and his behaviour has been wrong and unforgivable.  Cheers all round at this stage at Random Towers where I was thoroughly incensed by Mr Western's pig headed attitude.  He decides to go back to his wife and what does she do as soon as she sees him?  She flings herself in his arms and begs his forgiveness....

Words fail.

It all ends well with Mr Western having the grace to admit that he has also been wrong and the couple then, presumably, live happily ever after. I doubt it somehow....

The plot is very similar to He Knew he was Right, another stand alone title featuring a pig headed husband and an equally stupid wife, but the characters in that book are much more fully drawn, Cecilia and Mr Western are lightly sketched.  My feelings on reading both books was much the same in that I felt like banging heads together and telling each couple to Get a Grip.

There is an amusing sub-plot to set against the Cecila/Mr Western situation and that is of Sir Frances Geraldine being drawn into an engagement with an erstwhile friend of Cecilia, Miss Altifiorla, a single lady in her mid-thirties, very strong on women's rights and very much against marriage, until of course an opportunity comes along.  The reader cannot help but feel that these two ghastly people deserve each other but in the end Sir Francis panics and runs away to America.  At the end of the story we hear that Miss Altifiorla is intending to undertake a lecture tour on Women's Rights in America, so I do not think that Sir Francis will get off scot free.

Definitely not one of Trollope's best but, quite frankly, a second tier Trollope is still streets ahead of most writers and, as always, when I start reading one of his books I find myself getting more and more drawn into the lives and thoughts of the characters and then reach a stage when I literally cannot put the book down until I have finished it.

Some years ago I read Diane Setterfield's the Thirteenth Tale and I was struck by the following observation in this particular book which sums up perfectly my feelings about Victorian literature and why I love it so much:

".....I prefer proper endings.  Marriages and deaths, noble sacrifices and miraculous restorations, tragic separations and unhoped for reunions, great falls and dreams fulfilled; these, in my view, constitute an ending worth the wait.  They should come after adventures, perils, dangers and dilemmas, and wind everything up nicely and neatly..."

Any Trollope novel fulfills the above criteria and leaves the reader closing the book feeling happy and satisfied.  Well, this reader certainly feels that way and as I look at my Trollope collection on my shelves I feel that I may continue with more re-reading.

Let's face it, what else have I got to do at the moment?

The Wisting Books - John Lier Horst

Finally getting going with the reviews for 2021.  As you will have seen from my last post, New Year's Day was a bit of a downer, but now that lockdown has been confirmed, again, it is just a case of Getting on With It.  So here we go.

A few months ago I was sent a recommendation by Amazon, one of those "if you liked that you might like this" thingys and they suggested the Wisting series of detective novels by John Lier Horst.  Their computer system has obviously logged I read a fair bit of so called Scandi-Noir and recommended these. The taster was a title at 99p which is always a temptation because even if you find you do not like the book much you have hardly bankrupted yourself.

As it turned out I really enjoyed the first one I read. So, naturally, I then went online and one by one bought the rest. Well you know I would.

William Wisting is a Chief Inspector in the CID at Larvik, Norway.  He is in his fifties at the start of the series and has two children, Thomas and Line. He is a widower and though he does have a new relationship throughout the stories it is fairly tepid, or so it seems to me, as he still mourns his wife Ingrid.   His son Thomas, who is in the army and away most of the time, features so little in these books that I wonder why the author bothered with him to be honest, but perhaps he will feature more in the future.   The main character alongiside Wisting is his daughter Line who is an investigative journalist based in Oslo and, of course, quite a few of the cases she chases intersect with her father. She has the knack, which can infuriate the reader or make them laugh, depending on your viewpoint, of getting in the way, getting too involved and then having to be rescued by her father and the Larvik police force.  I would find her a bit of a pain to be honest and I did when I started reading.  Later, I warmed to her a bit more.

Alison Graham, who is the editor of the rather quaintly named Radio Times, though the days of just radio are long gone, writes amusing articles each week and her latest one if called "Get in Here Now" and subtitled "If your're a maverick cop beware the Jobsworth Boss" and goes on to cite various police series where this relationship exists.  She is spot on because such a Jobsworth Boss, who is also ambitious and craves promotion, features in the Wisting books as well - Auden Vetti - with whom Wisting clashes.   You can take it as read that he gets his comeuppance in due course.  

Wisting also has his friends and colleagues who he has worked with for years and the books have a very satisfying feel about them.  I read them out of order, because of the 99p offer which set me off on the trail, but I am not sure that this is a real problem though if you do start them then it would probably be better to not take my route and start at number one.

Here is a link to the author's page on Amazon so you can see all the titles. I have now read all the Wisting ones and note that he has written a couple of others with another person so may give those a whirl.

As I said these are satisfying books to read. They are good, solid, well written and I really like them very much. They are not gung ho with mad shoot outs and grisly details (though Horst does not finch from this when a serial killer is involved) and there are chase sequences etc but the main emphasis is on the detecting and the solving of each case and the inner thoughts of Wisting who is a Good Man and a Good Policeman.   I honestly think that writers make their detectives and cops difficult and maverick (yes that word again) because it is more exciting but I do not think this is necessarily the case.   Certainly not if you look back at the Golden Age of crime writing where the solving and resolving was the main focus.

Wisting reminds me very much of Inspector French in the crime novels of Freeman Wills Croft. Painstaking, concentrating on the clues, the minutiae and the gradually unravelling of the puzzle.   Some people say they find this tedious and do not like his books, but police work is most of the time - it is plodding along, hence the somewhat derogatory usage of the word Plod to describe the foot soldiers who just get on with it.

I fear I may have made these books by Horst sound boring and dull which is not my intention. I can recommend them for a thoroughly satisfying read.   There was a BBC4 production last year which is what led me to this author and was very well done.

Well the problem now is what series to read next? I do like to have one lined up and then along comes Amazon and sends me a 99p offer for a book by Catherine Aird who I had heard of but never read. So I  bought it, loved it, well written, great puzzle and also funny and then checked her out and found that I have another 26 to go.

So guess what I am going to do next....

First Post of the Year

I woke up this morning feeling rather gloomy. I have been on my own since Boxing Day and, try as I might, I do find it hard to be cheerful in the face of all the doom laden predictions that are abounding. I have reached the stage where I cannot tell what is true and what is not so I have abandoned all news on the television and only skim the papers. I may be being blinkered but I have honestly had enough at the moment.

Every year I watch the New Year's Day concert from Vienna and wondered how they would manage it this year. Well they did. I gather the orchestra were tested twice daily before and after rehearsals as they were determined to perform. Muti conducted and it seems he is alone in a hotel where it and the entire city is deserted. He is reported to have said it was like being in a horror movie....The Shining comes to mind.

My first glimpse of the concert hall. Totally empty and I burst into tears. I found it incredibly upsetting and as my mood was not good it affected me quite badly.  The orchestra played simply beautifully. I suppose it is because of the lack of audience that the acoustics and sound seemed clearer and brighter but I also felt the Vienna Phil were playing their socks off for us and it was simply stunning.

At the interval, we heard applause. Apparently people all round the world signed up to be the "audience and I found it quite moving and it cheered me up - a bit anyway.

Before the encores Muti came out to address his world wide audience and said that yes, we were worred about our health and that was the first thing but "the health of the mind is so important and this is what music is for". And, oh dear I was off again.

In the end I got up and clapped and marched around my flat when the Radetsky March was played and then we heard the worldwide applause again.  My congratulations and thanks to the Vienna Phil and Muti for going that extra mile to help us all.  It was glorious

I wish you all a Happy New Year and, once again, my thanks to you all for reading, commenting and visiting. Many of you have been loyal supporters for years and it is such a comfort and a joy.  Bless you.

2020 Reading - Part 2

I have just realised the days are moving quickly and I will soon be in 2021 before I talk about my reading this year. So here goes with the second lot.

The Crown in Crisis; the Countdown to the Abdication by Alexander Larman.   This is one of the best, if not the best, of all the books I have read about the Abdication and believe me, I have read the lot.   I reviewed it here

Lady in Waiting - Anne Glenconner.   A brilliantly witty book. Lady Glenconner sounds a redoubtable personalilty, the kind of lady you would find running the WI, opening village Fetes, chivvying you along in the kindest way. I found myself warming to her.  A close friend of Princess Margaret who I always felt got a vicious press. I am sure she was not the easiest person around but the acts of kindness and the support she gave her friend Anne showed another side to her.  Lady Glenconner had two children die and one gravely injured in a car crash and she spent months by his side helping him recover.  She also seemed to be married to a total lunatic.  Great read.

Agatha Christie's Poirot - Mark Aldridge.   I have reviewed this here and it is a book that every Christie lover should have on their shelves.  Brilliant.

Double Lives - Helen McCarthy. Of course this is going to make my list because the author as well as producing a brilliant book, is my daughter. Four years hard slog and lockdown stymied everything.   It has garnered excellent reviews and I am so proud of her.

I have had a canter through my reading list and have to mention the following authors whose books I always read with great enjoyment:

Jane Casey - her Maeve Kerrigan books are excellent. Gripping police work and the relationship between Maeve and the gorgeously sexy Josh is tantalising. So looking forward to the next one.

Linda Castillo - her crime novels are set in Amish country and I have read them all.  I cannot help but feel that there is a similarity to Midsomer Murders in that there is an enormous amount of death and destruction in a small area. Anne Cleve stopped writing her books set in Shetland as she felt she could not bump off any more of the inhabitants....but the Castillo books are well worth a read.

Jane Thynne - her Clara Vine books are simply wonderful and I gather a new one is on the horizon but in the meantime may I urge you to read The Words I Never Wrote.   I raved about it earlier this year but it had only been published in the US.  Now it is due in the UK and worth every penny. Here is my review

Moray Dalton - a Golden Age detective writer and a new discovery for me. Published by Dean Street Press I can highly recommend them. I gather there are more in the offing.

E C R Lorac and Carol Carnac - yes they are the same person and the detective novels are published by British Library publishing in their Classic Crime series.   I have discovered many new unknown writers through this series and Lorac is one of my favourite of these - the other being Freeman Wills Croft.

Peter Lovesey - the Peter Diamond detective series set in Bath. I forgot to mention them in my first post. A re-read and simply terrific.

Elizabeth von Arnim - I am going to embark on a re-read in 2021 but would mention here that the British Library, yes those great peeps again, published Father, one of her relatively unfamiliar works this year and has more in the pipeline. Keep an eye out for them.

So I think that is that. I have read far less this year or rather I have not noted down all the titles I read, as I usually do, because I have read such casual stuff that half the time I have forgotten it as soon as it is closed.   My brain went walk about in 2020 and I am pretty sure that I am not alone in that.

I have a few interesting books lined up for the next few weeks. One, a biography of Cary Grant which was fascinating, is due to be published in 2021 so will leave reviewing until we have left this year behind.

I am not sure 2021 is shaping up to be any better at the moment, but thank heavens for books and reading. I simply cannot fathom how those who do not read survive, I really don't.

Looking forward to a good reading year and lots of lovely comments from you all which I really appreciate. Thank you.

2020 Reading - Part 1

Well if I had had thoughts of re-reading War and Peace, tackling Proust or Dostoevsky (not that I had). this year well and truly knocked the stuffing out of all reading plans. Not that I make any really. I tend to lurch around and read whatever takes my fancy at the time. Years ago when I started this blog I used to make copious reading lists a la Emma Woodhouse which I never stuck to. I also used to go in for Challenges set by other bloggers and then panic when I did not meet the deadline.   Then the light dawned. Sod it I thought. Just read what you want - you are never going to be asked by the Guardian to nominate your books of the year or sit on the panel of the Booker so why bother?

And if ever that philosophy was needed in a Year of Reading it was certainly 2020. Suddenly we all had the time we wanted to read (ok yes I know a lot of you were working from home and trying to teach recalcitrant children so no need to write and tell me, I fully understand) but my mind kind of froze and went into hibernation.   I was too busy working out if I was allowed to go out and feed the ducks or fill the car up with petrol to consult my library.

So in the end I found myself re-reading. I think this was a comfort thing. I did not want any suprises, gawd knows we were getting enough of them on the daily news, I just wanted to know where I was and so after checking my book list this year I find a lot of familiar names there.   So here goes of my summing up of the Year of the Plague:

Josephine Tey.   I re-read the Franchise Affair for the for the umpteenth time and loved it for the umpteenth time. My post on this book is here.   I also found the film, positively ancient now, with Michael Dennison and Dulice Gray on Talking Pictures tv channel (which is a total joy by the way) and watched it after a long gap. Gosh those cut glass Engish vowels. Wonderful. Then I located the later version, made in the 80's with Patrick Malahide, on Youtube and watched that. Again, wonderful and a superb sense of time and place.

I then went on to reread The Man in the Queue, The Singing Sands, Brat Farrar and Miss Pym Disposes. A joy and her writing is peerless.

PD James - I started a re-read, still ongoing, of all the Dalgliesh books and loved them all over again. I wrote in her praise here.  A new tv series is due I gather.  I am already fearful of what it is going to be like....

D E Stevenson - Oh how I used to turn my nose up at these books when I worked in a library yonks ago.  Little old ladies borrowed them "such nice books"  and I turned my nose up. Eighteen years old and full of myself. Well, now I love them all and have read them all. Yes, every single one.   Dean Street Press, one of my favourite publishers, reprinted a lot and those lovely peeps sent me several free ebooks of this author when lockdown started as they thought I might need cheering up. I mean, how to win Friends and Influence people - that is the way to go.  Persephone books also republished the Miss Buncle Books and I re-read those too.

E H Young - a lot of these on my shelves, most in the old Green Virago editions which I adore.  The British Library have started publishing Women authors who mays have been forgotten, and they sent me Chatterton Square which now sits alongside the Virago edition.   Dean Street Press reissued Miss Mole, a simply wonderful witty and quietly heartbreaking book, and Virago brought out another edition later on in the year so suddenly E H Young was everywhere. Not complaining.

Agatha Christie - ah Dear Dame A. Always there, always excellent and I refute the notion that some critics have that she is a poor writer and her characters are cardboard. They are NOT and that is all there is to it.  This year I re-read They Came to Baghdad, Destination Unknown, two of her stand alone books and I think terrific reads; Ordeal by Innocence, Towards Zero, Crooked House, the Man in the Brown Suit and quite a few others.  

I read a superb book later on in the year by Mark Aldridge on Hercule Poirot which I will mention later, probably in another post as it is clear I am on a long ramble.

Jane Austen - I came across an article the other day in the newspaper suggesting that she was the perfect author to read in the middle of lockdown and I agree.  There is something so reassuring and comforting in reading her sharp, witty prose, her precision and her wit that boosted me tremendously.  I read Persuasion. I have lost count of how many times I have read this particular title but it never fails to grab me and keep me reading to see what happens, though I know what happens. Forget Darcy. Give me Captain Wentworth any day....

I am stopping for the moment and will be back again with the next tranche in the next day or so. I have till the end of the year but thought I had better start now. 

Glad I did.

Merry Christmas

I know we are all having a grim time right now but I do hope we can all manage to enjoy our Christmas come what may. Lots of good wishes from me who is so grateful for your company.

 

A Lovely Day

Well my last post but one was a rant. Made me feel better. And while I sort out my reading this year and see what I think are my best reads, I had a rather lovely day and just to show that I do not moan all the time, I thought I would tell you all about it.

So, are we sitting comfortably? Then I will begin.

I was going to Snape near Aldburgh to meet up with the family last weekend. Florence was playing her violin in the shopping area (organised by her music group) which I thought was rather sweet so I drove over to meet up with them. She was as cool as a cucumber.

Me: Are you nervous Florence?

Flo: NO

Me: Well I would be. But as I cannot play the violin I suppose I would be

Giggle giggle

We had to hide around the corner as Florence did not want to see us gawping so I positioned myself behind a handy pillar and off she went. No nervousness at all and a prog of Mozart and Bach with a Christmas carol thrown in. Beaming with pride.

After coffee the family were then going to the concert hall as Nicola Beneditti was giving a solo violin recital. "why don't you come as well grandma" says Beatrice. No ticket says I and when I checked there were no returns. Hugs all round and fond farwells and in they went and I stood and waved them goodbye.

Then a lovely thing happened. A nice man on the door came over to  me. "I would wait if I were you madam" he said. "Ooh shall I lurk" "Yes that would be a good idea" and he vanished inside. So I lurked and after a while as it was getting near to the start of the recital thought I would potter off when he reappeared with a lady from the box office who told me that they always kept a couple of seats back for wheelchair users and it was obvious nobody was going to use them so would I like them? Well, if hugging had been allowed I would have fallen on her neck.  So in I went and the family were very taken aback as I floated by. 

The concert hall normally takes about 1,000 and it was half full. All well laid out and distanced and a good audience all happy to be there. Nicola Benedetti came out and introduced the music and off we went.

I find it hard to convey the emotion I felt when she started to play.  To hear live music played so wonderfully in such wonderful surroundings and my family a few rows away - I choked up completely and tears came to my eyes and began to trickle.  To sit with eyes closed, concentrating, while solo Bach is being played just a few yards away......I leave it to your imagination.

On the way out I went over to the box office and saw my two lovely peeps who had gone out of their way to get me in. I just wanted to thank them and try and convey something of my happiness to them and I found I was quite emotional when speaking.  They replied they were so happy they were able to do it and what joy it gave them to have live music back.

I said farewell to My Crew again and drove home. A glorious autumnal day, the rain had stopped, and a weak sun and I went the long way round home via Orford so I could drive through the forest and Gosh I was Happy and Joyful. Music is everything. Simply everything.

And later on Beatrice and Florence facetimed me. "Grandma we went to Aldburgh" and when I asked what they did while they were there was the reply "We went to the bookshop!"

Good to know that my grandchildren are being brought up properly.....

A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

It is that time of year again. The time when I trot over to my bookshelves, check the letter D and take down a copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.  Please note I say A Copy not My copy. This is because I have multiple copies of this book and today have just added to them with yet another edition.

So this afternoon I retired to My Boudoir aka the bedroom, heater on, cup of tea, propped up in bed with blanket over my knees and read it yet again. It does not take me long - about half an hour - and, once more, felt a nice warm glow when I had finished it.

I love Dickens. Always have but I do know those who cannot get on with him at all - I freely admit I find this difficult to understand but hey ho.  Over the years I have read an awful lot about the man himself and, quite frankly, he sounds a tortured individual and not very nice, in particular in his treatment of his wife which I thought was appalling.  I really should not like him at all but somehow I find it hard to dislike someone who has created Mr Pickwick, the Fezziwigs, David Copperfield, Uriah Heep et al.  I feel that underneath all that non stop frenetic genius, there was a troubled individual. 

And this afternoon when reading A Christmas Carol for the umpteenth time I discovered passages that struck me anew as being simply wondrous, conjuring up wonderful pictures:

"The poulterers shops were still half open and the fruiterers were radiant in their glory; there were great round pot bellied baskets of chestnuts, shaped like the waistcoats of jolly old gentlemen, lolling at the doors and tumbling out into the street in their apoplectic opulence. There were ruddy brown faced, broad girthed Spanish Onions, shining in the greatness of their growth like Spanish Friars, and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by and glanced demurely at the hung up mistletoe. There were pears and apples clustered high in blooming pyramids; there were bunches of grapes made in the shopkeepers benevolence to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people's mouths might water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy and brown, recalling in their fragrance, ancient walks among the woods and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered leaves..."

Glorious.

Which edition to read today?

There is the one illustrated by Quentin Blake which I could not resist. I bought a copy for my elder granddaughter wondering if she would read it. She did and she loved it.

A superb edition of A Christmas Carol and other Stories by OUP, a wonderful hardback with the original illustrations.

A Christmas Carol, the Graphic Novel which reminds me of when, as a child, I had this kind of illustrated version of Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights and other classics.

Then an edition I came across at a jumble sale and which I paid about 50p.  Inside it is inscribed, written in ink "for our dear Gloria with loving Christmas wishes from the Aunties at Ealing Village" It does not have the date of the particular Christmas which is a shame but this particular copy, which has no ISBN number or publication date to give me a clue, is published by Raphael Tuck & Sons Ltd "publishers to their Majesties the King and Queen & to her Majesty Queen Alexandra" which means it is Edwardian. There is a Wikipedia page about this company which was founded in 1866 and was granted the Royal Warrant by Queen Victoria. It makes fascinating reading.   This copy has lovely illustrations and the title page is protected by a sheet of tissue paper, intact which is a miracle after all this time. I would love to know who once owned this and to reassure them that I am looking after it very carefully.

And finally, another edition which arrived just an hour ago from the Folio Society. I could not resist. I simply could not.  A glorious edition with illustrations by Michael Foreman which fit beautifully.  It was a pleasure to hold and read. They also sent me a free Folio diary which I thought was rather kind.....

Well you know how I am going to close this post don't you? Of course you do....

"...he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us and all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!

 

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas - a rant

Just over a year ago I had a rant about glossy magazines, you know the type, beautiful couples who have done up a house in the middle of nowhere while living in a caravan on site and "sourcing" furniture from "brocantes" in Provence and driving it home in the Volvo blah blah blah.

After these rants I decided enough was enough and gave up buying magazines which was quite a wrench as I have always enjoyed their escapism in a mild sort of way but as they were were practically the price of a book with less enjoyable content I did not suffer unduly. I did feel a pang at not buying Good Housekeeping which I have been reading for fifty years and nearly had a wobble and bought a copy early in the year. Fortunately, Clare Balding was on the cover so had no difficulty in avoiding that issue and the following month the front page featured Fiona Bruce so I was safe.

A year has passed (and what a ghastly year it has been) and as it was coming up to the Festive Season (of which more anon) I decided to dip my toe in the water and buy a couple and then immediately wished I hadn't bothered. Nothing has changed. Full of high achieving women guaranteed to make you feel like a lowly worm and houses restored lovingly with antiques and "bargain buys from the High Street" though how they have managed that when the High Street is closed gives pause for thought.

Anyway one of them said that this year is going to be a "simple" Christmas and this particular magazine tells you a couple of useful tips.

"Green table scaping" - yes really. "Create a living table runner using seasonal potted plants such as cyclamen and finish each place setting with a simple wreath".   Just remember to remove it before you start eating...

Warm welcome - "hang garlands of evergreen foliage from bannisters for a fuller look and accessorise them with baubles, twinkling fairy lights and smart ribbons"  Please note thay must be smart so put the crappy stuff away. 

Under this picture you will see that  "the charcoal painted bannisters make the greenery really pop" so if you have them painted a different colour you need to nip out quick get a tin of paint and get cracking. Of course, if you live in an apartment then you need not bother.

I had a bit of a snigger about all this and threw the magazine in the bin thinking what utter crap and what else would be dreamed up for us all in this Year of The Plague.   I opened up my paper and there it was.  The spoof to end all spoofs. Only as I read it I realised it was NOT a spoof, it was real and I read it with open mouthed incredulity.

And what caused this reaction? A pronouncement from SAGE aka the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies - Gov. UK.  Now a sage, apart from being a herb you use in stuffing, is a person famed for wisdom and venerated for the possession of judgement and experience.  Never was a group more inaptly named...

They have issued a list of rules for this Christmas which have been met with widespread derision and hoots of laughter, immediately followed by fury at the bone headed attitude displayed by what is obviously a bunch of middle class, overpaid civil servants who have no idea of real life and who probably read glossy magazines.

Here are some of the SAGE suggestions

Put Granny at the end of the table that is nearest the window

WHO is this Granny that is constantly being referred to by the Government?  They seem to think she is a dribbling, grey haired, incontinent old hag who has to be humoured and spoken to loudly and treated like an imbecile. There is never any mention of a Grandad...

Open the WIndows to keep your home as well ventilated as possible.

Yes of course and make sure that Granny is put close to this wide open window. She will probably get pneumonia and die and they will put on her death certificate that she died of Covid thus boosting the figures

Have drinks outside by a fire pit instead of watching TV indoors.

A FIRE PIT? FFS a FIRE PIT?   WHO has a fire pit in their back garden? that is of course if you have a garden. If you live in a flat then you might find this rather difficult. And if you have children I would suggest a fire pit is the last thing you want handy.

Have two Christmas Tables so you can socially distance.

As I said if you have a small house or flat this might be a bit difficult.  I presume if you want extra sprouts you have to lob them across the room so you do not infect each other

Sing Christmas carols at a social distance, FACING THE SAME WAY

Yes folks I suggest you all stand in a row facing the wall and bellowing out God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen. It will give you a laugh if nothing else.

Take your own plates and put them in the dishwasher yourself.

OK so you have sat down with your nearest and dearest, no more than six, and had your dinner and talked and laughed and BREATHED over each other but somehow one person collecting the dishes is going to cause you all to catch the Plague?   And don't forget to get Granny to take her own plate if she hasn't frozen to death.  She will probably be glad of the chance to get warm. .

There is a lot more in the same vein but I really cannot be bothered to rant any more. It is exhausting.  The utter futility of getting your head around the stupid, ludicrous rules and regulations trotted out on a daily basis by our current Government defies belief and they wonder why they are being ignored.

I am spending Christmas with my family. No doubt when I come home I will have to bathe in disinfectant and self isolate in sack cloth and ashes for a month.

I sent this list to my daughter so she could prepare for The Big Day and she emailed me this response:

"We're getting a tent ready for you in the garden mum and will be feeding you Christmas dinner through a long tube"

No doubt if I sent this to SAGE they would think it a pretty good idea........

Agatha Christie's Poirot - Mark Aldridge

When I was eleven years old I was stuck indoors with a case of German measles. I did not feel ill but I was in quarantine and bored witless. My sister, a trainee librarian, was tasked with finding me something to read and she came home one lunch time with a pile of books one of which was Agatha Christie, Ten Little Indians only the it had a more politically incorrect title.....

I read it and was dumbfounded at the ending and when she went back to the library the next day I said bring me as many Christies as you can find and she did and that was that.

Dame Agatha always produced a book at the festive season and A Christie for Christmas was a marketing tool of which we can only dream.   If the author was unable to produce a title then her publishers always had a book of short stories or a compilation to hand so that we were not disappointed. I bought the Agatha every year and in hardback too when they were expensive and ebooks did not exist and as I was a teenager with very little money this shows my devotion in no small measure.

So it makes sense that this wonderful book by Mark Aldridge should be this year’s Christie for Christmas and if you are an aficionado it will not disappoint.

It is a hundred years since the author wrote the very first Poirot book The Mysterious Affair at Styles which first appeared as a newspaper serialisation which was common practice during this era. It took a year before it finally appeared in print in the UK being published in January 2021.  It had been written five years before but it found its audience, was popular and its initial run of 2,000 copies quickly sold out.   Her second title was The Secret Adversary which did not feature any characters from her first book and she soon found that the Belgian detective was ready to solve an even more complex case.   Her publishers were keen “So I went on writing detective stories. I found I couldn’t get out”.

Years later Agatha Christie realised she had made a mistake in presenting Poirot as the age he was in Styles and she also got rather tired of him, but like Mrs Ariadne Oliver with her Finnish detective, she was stuck with him as his popularity was enormous.   In the Mysterious Affair at Styles he was an invalided captain recuperating in the locality which meant he would have to be a middle aged man at the very least. 

Hasting’s description of Poirot is definitive, and it never changes in all of the books in which he is featured.

“He was hardly more than five feet four inches but carried himself with great dignity. His head was exactly the same as an egg and he always perched it a little on one side. His moustache was stiff and military and the neatness of his attire was almost incredible. I believe a speck of dust would have caused him more pain than a bullet wound”

This description never changed throughout five decades of cases and by the time Curtain (in which Poirot dies) was published, the general consensus was that he would have been over one hundred years old.

I loved reading this book. For an Agatha fan this is nirvana, cornucopia, a sheer wallow in delight.  The author’s note at the start of the book states that although arranged chronologically it is designed so that you may read it however we choose “cover to cover or dipping into sections”. Well I read it cover to cover over two days and did not, as Mark Aldridge suggests “skip sections that you are less interested in”.  I could not do that as there were none.

So we start with the 1920s and come right up to 2000 and beyond.  Each book is discussed in order with comments on the mystery, the clues, and its solution though the author avoids giving spoilers, a courtesy that I think is probably unnecessary as everybody who buys this book is going to know the solution already.   But best to be on the safe side I suppose in order not to offend any sensibilities.

As well as discussing the books Mark Aldridge discusses the stage versions of her Poirot novels, ditto the various films.   Agatha Christie was usually pretty dissatisfied with the way Poirot was portrayed on screen. Close attention was paid by Agatha’s daughter Rosalind during the filing of the hugely successful Murder on the Orient Express with Albert Finney as Poirot made in 1974 and no rights beyond this one film were granted and this included an emphatic banning of any merchandising. Dame Agatha was not sure about it at all “I hope I shall like it but anyway I have certainly got to go and see it as soon as I have the opportunity even if my feelings should not be as favourable as I would like them to be” she wrote.

Last year Kenneth Branagh essayed a new version of Orient Express and this leads me to the one paragraph of this wonderful book that I totally disagree with, and it is the assertion that “it has always been the hope that Murder on the Orient Express would not be Kenneth Branagh’s only foray into the world of Hercule Poirot”……………………

No thank you.

This book is all every Christie lover could wish for.  Beautifully written, concise, total lack of hyperbole, a keen eye brought to every title and character and obviously written by someone who loves his subject.   It is the go-to book if you wish to double check on a particular title and knowing the background regarding its production and sales when you read does add to the experience.   I can only hope that everybody who thinks Agatha Christie is a remarkable woman and writer will want this in their Christmas stocking.

A Christie for Christmas. How wonderful.

Go buy.