"....and the cares that hung around me through the week
seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
as we're out together dancing cheek to cheek"
Banish Big Brother, Xterminate the X-factor and get out the fake tan, the sequins, the hair spray, the tit tape, false eyelashes and killer heels - it's that time of the year again, yes it's BACK - Strictly Come Dancing has a preview on the Beeb this Saturday and then the contest proper starts the following week, so it will be voicemail on, curtains drawn, critical faculties and pencils sharpened (I am SUCH an expert of course) to mark down every stumble and trip and I will be in bliss until Christmas.
"Dance with me, I want my arms about you
the charms about you, will carry me through to..
Heaven, I'm in Heaven...."
We have the usual assortment of sportsmen, who always do very well, last two contests won by a cricketer, and the two runners up after Darren Gough and Mark 'gorgeous swivel hips' Ramprakash were an athlete and a rugby player respectively. So this year we have aother ex-rugby player, and an ex-footballer (Oh how I would love to see Beckham take part in this!!!), a couple of tv presenters who I have never heard of, Stephanie Beacham who used to be in Dynasty and is a very vampish type (bet they team her with Brendan), the obligatory member of cast of East Enders, two models Kelly Brock and Penny Lancaster, who just happens to be the current Mrs Rod Stewart. The last Mrs Rod Stewart appeared in the US version of the show so wonder who is trying to outdo who?
"Oh, I love to go out climbing and to scale the highest peak
but it doesn't thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek"
No news on the judges but one assumes they will be Len, Craig, Bruno and Arlene with their usual barbed comments and insults and wonder if there is a sex god on here for Arlene to quiver over. Last two series she has gone slightly cross eyed and all trembly over Colin Jackson and the aforementioned Mark R, but not quite sure that there is a candidate this year. Still, there is no accounting for taste and she might just fall for WIllie Thorne, an ex-snooker player. Mem: have you noticed that they are all exes of one kind or another? Ex-East Enders, Ex-sportsman, one only hopes that Penny Lancaster is not due to become another Ex and go the previous way of Rod's ladies. This show of course does boost one's flagging career and now celebs are gagging to be on it whereas the first series had to practically plead for people to appear. That series I remember had Lesley Garrett in full 'I'm the Diva from Doncaster mode' and she drove Len demented who told her to 'go take a chill pill'. That was the moment I fell in love with Len and my allegiance has never wavered.
So on with the motley and away we go. I do hope Ian Waite gets a good partner this year and does not get booted out so soon, and that Brendan is booted out as soon as possible which will wipe that smug smile off his twerpish face, and that the lovely lovely Anton du Beck wins this time as he deserves it, if only for seemingly being the nicest man on the planet.
"Heaven, I'm in heaven....."
