Simon on Stuck in a Book has posed a tricky question. Are you happy to lend books? I have mixed feelings on this subject as I tend to be very possessive indeed about my bookshelves and will admit to being tremendously reluctant to let friends borrow any of them.
The quote which Simon uses 'neither a borrower nor a lender be' is a very sensible one and I try to stick to it as much as possible. I will not borrow books if I can avoid it (unless, obviously, it is a library book) and if I do I worry tremendously until I return it safe and sound and in pristine condition. On one never to be forgotten occasion I loaned a book to a friend who spotted it said 'oh, that looks fun can I borrow it' which makes it impossible to refuse, and of course I had to say yes. She then she left it on a bus. She was overwhelmed with guilt and horror and incredibly apologetic and I gather chased after the bus for miles to no avail, and then went 
out and bought me another copy. Of course, it was brand new and nothing like my beloved old edition but I smiled brightly and thanked her as she felt bad enough as it was. I managed to find another second hand copy of my original book some months later luckily so all was well, but this taught me a lesson. Friendships can be wrecked by something as trivial as this. I know I was cross about the loss of this book, but had to hide my feelings and be kind so it is best to avoid this situation whenever possible.
I have close friends I trust to whom I lend books, but even so I am always relieved when I get them back. I have loaned books to Simon in the past, via the post, and he to me and we both know we can trust each other completely to look after them, but I am always worried that he or I might consign our books to the tender mercies of the post and never see them again.
In another post Simon asked how people felt about writing in books which engendered some very interesting replies. I never write in books, preferring to use a note pad, even if I am studying (I will admit however to writing all over Troilus and Cressida when I was trying to understand Chaucer for my A level) as the thought of scribbling in a book is anathema to me. I know others will disagree and that is fine, we all have our own methods of reading and annotating, but when I get a loaned book returned to me with writing all over it then I get really mad. This happened to me several years ago and I was furious as I felt my personal property had been treated with disrespect. As I would never mark up a book borrowed from a library as it does not belong to me, then I expect my friends to treat my books as such.
On that occasion I did NOT hide my feelings and, sadly, the friendship was never the same afterwards and eventually died the death. I don't think I was being unreasonable about my response, but she thought I was and that did it really, the fact that she was unable to understand why I was cross.
Perhaps I am just a sad person and need to get a life....
