Questions to which I require an answer:
- Why do men always sit on the train with their legs wide open, thus taking up a seat and a half?
- Why do they get very annoyed when you ask them to put their legs together so you can sit down?
- Why do commuters use backpacks instead of the old fashioned briefcase? They all look like they are going on an expedition to the South Pole, though it would appear that from the logos on these bags, ie Nike, Puma, Adidas, the South Face they are also training for the marathon or about to climb the Eiger. As they are all, without exception, pasty faced and over weight I think this is highly unlikely
- Why do the aforesaid commuters, plus assorted backpackers at the station, not realise that they have the equivalent of a two year old strapped to their back and that when they turn round without looking they quite often swipe a traveller behind them, nearly knocking them over in the process. If you shout at them they then turn round to apologise to you and knock somebody else over as well
- Why do I get on the train with a large tote bag (not a backpack I hasten to add), laden with books, make up and water and all the bright young things who get on are clutching little diddy bags only?
- Why do people get huffy if they have sat next to me and pinned me to the seat by my coat/jacket whatever and I try and pull it out the way? It is not my fault they did not look before they sat down.
- Why is there a mad rush to get off the train at Liverpool Street and everyone MUST be first off the train? Why do they stand ages before the train reaches the platform and then stagger backwards if it stops abruptly which happens frequently?
- Why do commuters (it is usually men who do this, I am aware I am sounding sexist here) when pulling down their coats from the rack not look who is below and not hit them on the head with their heavy rain/overcoats? And then when they swing it round their shoulders and put their arms in the sleeves, not look to see who else they have knocked flying behind them?
- Why do commuters who know we have arrived get to the automatic ticket barriers, realise they have not got their ticket ready, stop suddenly, thus causing a mass pile up behind them?
- Why do commuters, on looking up at the arrivals and departures board at the station, always have their mouths open? (This ranks alongside the question which I have seen in a men's mag - why do women always open their mouths when putting on mascara?) I don't think there is a sensible answer to this one.
- Why do I keep worrying about all these philosophical questions? I have been commuting for over 25 years and answers come there none
