Every year Strictly Come Dancing takes its caravanserai up to Blackpool the so called 'Home of Ballroom'. This seems to induce mass hysteria in the presenters of the programme, Bruce, Claudia and Tess who rabbit on about it for weeks. You would think they were hoping for Nirvana and the question 'Just what does it mean to you to get to Blackpool?' is asked of every dancer, celebrity or professional. Of course 'it means the world' to all of them and if one of them turned round and said they couldn't care less it would not be shown on TV that is for sure.
So last Saturday was the big night and Blackpool or, as Tess was determined to keep calling it, the 'Vegas of the North' was en fete with a pretty tacky opening routine with the girls dressed up like show girls with feathers on their heads and the men in white suits a la Elvis circa 1970. Then on comes Bruce and Tess who get the show off with a bang by making feeble jokes about chips and gravy and Oop North and if I had been in the audience I would have clocked them. I am a huge fan of Bruce Forsyth, think he is a consummate professional and quite brilliant, but I really really think it is time for him to retire from this show. His fluffed lines, bad jokes and mistakes are now getting more noticeable as each week goes by.
I must say that the ballroom is totally over the top, massive amount of floor space for the dancers to use, sprung floor, masses of chandeliers, lots of gilt and bling and gold and red, audience raucous and loud and out to have a good time and the atmosphere was really humming.
Out of the seven remaining couples in the competition, it is a source of distress to many that Ann Widdicombe is still there. We have lost an excellent dancer in Jimmy Mistry and there was quite visible shock when he went. Out of those that are left there are clear front runners: Tanya and Artem, Matt and Aliona, Scott and Natalie and Pamela and James. Next are Patsy Kensit who has an endearing personality, is obviously enjoying every single moment of it and the viewers and audiences know this and love it, Gavin Hanson and Katya. Gavin seems to be totally unable to let go of his self consciousness and when he does there is the glimmer of a good dancer but he is a bag of nerves most of the time. Felicity and Vincent are lovely but she is not getting any better and think she has reached her standard.
They all did routines of varying success. Gavin went to pieces and their dance was poor; Matt and Aliona quite brilliant but Len didn't like the back flips Matt threw in at the end (Len was very grouchy on Saturday); Tany and Artem did a sensational American Smooth but Len threw a wobbly because he said it wasn't a foxtrot and they were not in hold and then threw a hissy fit and was booed by the audience (this makes a change as it is usually Craig who gets it in the neck); Patsy and Robin - fun but mediocre; Felicity and Vincent - elegant and graceful but lacked any sort of verve; Scott and Natalie - he is normally the blue-eyed boy but did not quite pull it off this week; James and Pamela did a wonderful American Smooth and I am beginning to think they are my favourite couple. She is quite fearless and dances wonderfully and James has never got this far in the competition before and has never received a mark of 10 - well tonight he got two and was absolutely thrilled.
I have left Ann and Anton to last and really am not quite sure where to start. They were doing a samba, but as Miss W refuses to do any 'suggestive' movements at all, will not wear anything remotely resembling a samba dress and cannot dance, the whole thing was car crash TV. She goes on about her modesty and now has her dresses slightly shorter but underneath she has matching leggings so nobody can glimpse anything which is probably just as well. Not quite sure who came up with the idea of dressing her in canary yellow but it was not a good one. She looked like Big Bird from Sesame Street and was even more ungainly. Anton came on dressed in what looked like gold foil and did a superb job of dancing round her, while she stomped around the floor making no attempt to do anything at all, and then at the end did his usual trick of picking her up by one arm and one leg and swinging her round. Unfortunately, he lost his grip and she ended up in a heap on the floor with a very revealing view of canary yellow bottom. All too much to bear.
This joke, if it was ever funny, is now distasteful, embarrassing and demeaning. This is a woman who, as a fervent Catholic, was recently offered a job as liaison with the Vatican. I am sure if the Pope could see the exhibition she made of herself on Saturday he would wonder what on earth was going on. She does not seem to see that she is making a complete prat of herself and these moments will be on You tube for ever under the heading Most Embarrassing Moments. What is more when Miss W comes to the judges table to hear their comments she is rude and arrogant and thinks she is being witty and humorous and has no idea what she sounds like. The audience are rocking with laughter and it is AT her not WITH her and it is all appalling.
All the forums and message boards are full of complaints about the BBC asking her on in the first place - we all know why they did it - ratings, and outrage that good dancers are being knocked out while she is still there. I could put up with that, it has happened in the past, but what makes me, and others, so angry is that she is making no effort at all to learn to dance. The other dancers on the show are putting the hours in, working their butts off and have to watch her get through week after week.
As the numbers of dancers in the show diminish the votes will not be spread out so thinly and, hopefully, she will get her conge soon, but I have a feeling that the Great British Public are on a campaign to keep her in, out of pure devilment. I always watch the Final with my friend Rosemary and we have a nice meal and a glass of wine while we watch, shout, yell and applaud but if Miss W gets through I will not be looking at it.
OK rant over. Going to bed now...
