Been a busy week folks and had a long long long but simply wonderful day in London yesterday, not only with my darling Florence but also with lots of interesting people and had lots of fun. When I tell you I was up at 6am and driving to London and then drove home at 10pm in the evening you will understand that today was a day for lying in a poleaxed heap on the sofa not moving, not doing anything at all except watching Wimbledon.
Of which I will give you my thoughts while I am at it - you know I am going to don't you?
Trying to work out who is the worst commentator of the lot the BBC hire each year. Well, first up I will admit that I find John McEnroe witty, brilliant and huge fun in this role, but also know that there are millions of you out there who disagree. He used to be such a little shit when he played, couldn't stand him and would never watch his matches as I found the way he was allowed to behave by the spineless umpires and referees totally inexplicable. There were several occasions when he should have been thrown off the court and if I had been a linesman and had him ranting and spitting in front of me I would have thumped him. So the transition from little shit to elder statesman was a shock at first but now I find I like him and wonder why he did not show this side of his character when he was playing. He admits that he behaved atrociously and should have been defaulted and dealt with more severely - bit late in the day John baby, but I have now forgiven him.
Boris Becker - poor at first but has now warmed to the role and strikes me as being a nice man. Several of his fellow commentators have said he is a 'good guy' and he is another one who is prepared to admit his mistakes.
Tim Henman - well, what can one say about Tim? Nice Tim, sweet Tim, well dressed and well mannered Tim? Tim who has the most BORING DRONING VOICE IN THE WORLD and is charisma free.
Andrew Castle - morphed from being the British No.1 - gosh we are all overawed - to being a thoroughly good TV presenter and Wimbledon chap. Took part in Strictly Come Dancing a few years ago and admits he was terrified throughout. Easy listening voice, does not intrude when he should not and I really like him (Letter in the paper the other day from a reader who says he drives her mad...)
John Lloyd - also ex British No. 1 (do they all end up at Wimbledon? If so Hello Andy Murray in 2020). Knows what he is talking about and comments well but he does have the most peculiar cockney/American accent with Australian overtones. Prof Higgins would have a field day with him.
Pat Cash - ex Wimbledon Champion. You know he is the one who wears black and white headbands and climbed up into the box to hug his parents when he won. Aaah sweet. Now done by nearly everyone else including Nadal who climbed over to shake hands with the Prince of the Asturias in the Royal Box when he won. PC is the owner of a whiny whingey voice and he does not commentate - he witters. He starts a sentence, not sure how to end it and it dies away in silences and odd words here and there and usually while the tennis is being played. Last year I remember an occasion when he moaned about he BBC canteen and said his chocolate brownie was rubbish, and all the time the tennis was playing. Cannot understand why the BBC hire him.
And now the women. Tracy Austin is another with a thin whiny voice but somehow I don't find her irritating though I know others do. I have just watched an excellent ladies single match this evening and one of the commentators was Lindsey Davenport, the Wimbledon Champion on 1999. Always strikes me as being a very nice lady but that means diddly squat when you are there droning on about forehands weaknesses and being focused and boy, does she drone. Virginia Wade - don't let's go there. Just what IS her accent - does anybody know
Sue Barker - what can one say about the redoubtable lady who keeps it all together, interviews with grace, authority and style and never seems to be lost for a word or flustered. She deserves a medal for the number of times she can ask Will Andy Murray Win Wimbledon without rolling her eyes and thinking I am seriously pissed off with having to ask this YET AGAIN, but she has to do it. One of the reasons I want Andy to win Wimbledon, or any Grand Slam for that matter, is to relieve Sue's suffering. I also wish somebody would tell her what clothes to wear, some of her outfits defy description. Perhaps they do....
I won't start on the gruntings of Venus or Serena Williams, the yells of the Shrieking Shack aka Maria Sharapova or Djokovic bouncing his tennis ball 39+ times between each point or the alarming number of men players who play with baseball caps on backwards, or the seriously weird fashion sense exhibited by some of the lady players, yep Venus and Serena you again, or the.........no I will stop because I don't want you getting the wrong idea that I dislike Wimbledon.
I LOVE IT. I first went in 1964 and saw the Ladies Final, yes I slept out all night (never again), between Margaret Smith and Maria Bueno and used to regularly beat the trail down to the All England Lawn Club for about 15 years and then I stopped going. Not quite sure why but I have a feeling that the arrival of Mac the Mouth might have had something to do with it. Now I am at home with a terrific TV with digital and the red button so I can watch for hours and hours and I do I do. I have seen some stunning matches over the 40+ years I have been watching and think it is the greatest tournament in the world.
And that is why I grumble and moan and bitch about it. It's what us Brits do.
PS and we mustn't forget the silly hat worn by the spectators.
