Random Jottings

Strictly Come Dancing 2016 - Week 6

Halloween week so we had the usual appalling choice of music and costumes, judges arriving dressed up as vampires, fangs dripping everywhere and Darcy in a blonde wig. Not quite sure why but there you go.

It was all pretty meh and the judges outdid themselves with wild over marking and blinking blatant favouritism. The Clifton family, Kevin and sister Joanne and Kevin's wife are heavily featured in SCD. Karen has no partner since Will Young flounced off in a hissy fit but she certainly still manages to make her presence felt as she was in the opening dance sequence and also has a fair bit to say in the linking bits. People are getting really fed up with their ubiquitous presence. Kevin also seems to have had a hair weave or a transplant or something weird and has spent most of the last two weeks wearing a hat, always a giveaway - his hair is also a seriously odd colour.  He and his partner Louise are the two most boring people in this year's Strictly. BUT the judges seem to think they are the next Fred and Ginger and always over mark them.

Another favourite is Daisy. Seems a perfectly nice sweet girl but, again. the judges love her and always find good things to say. Bruno is particularly over the top awarding her a nine for a distinctly average paso. He was outraged when she ended up in the dance off, again.

She was up against Anastasia who I simply have never been able to warm to. Her quickstep last week, sans Brendan, was excellent, her jive this week with Brendan, dire and she quite rightly went. Not before giving a cringing farewell speech worthy of Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars.

Danny Mac mucked his routine up this week which, in a way, may do him good because he was so seriously terrific that people might think he does not need votes. Even though he got his foxtrot completely wrong he was still pretty hot and managed to get through.

Craig, after over marking as were the other judges, then woke up to the fact he was being too nice and lambasted Greg and Natalie for doing a rhumba which was not a rhumba more a show dance. Gave them four which was so out of line of his other marks for the evening that it was plain stupid. Greg looked rather fetching with his hair all silvered for Halloween and has a large following it seems as he was voted through. That'll teach Craig to be nasty.

The Hobbits did a dance which I though was ok but the judges, as they are another couple who are faves with them, burbled and went into ecstasies. Just cannot take to these two, AJ is cringeworthy and I get the feeling that every time he passes a mirror he takes a look in it just to remind himself how lovely he is.

Giovanni and Laura did a great tango though she had to wear distinctly unflattering black shoes because of her ankle injury but they ended up top of the leader-board which wiped the smile of the face of Joanne Clifton who did a distinctly unimpressive Charleston with her partner Ore, whose beard and make up defied description.

 

Ed Balls came out dressed as a mad scientist and proceeded to do a totally outrageous and camp cha cha cha which brought the house down, the audience up, and the judges, including Craig were reduced to helpless and disbelieving laughter. I was pleased to see though that they acknowledged that he was dancing proper cha cha steps and did them well too. James Jordan, no longer a fave at the BBC, was on Twitter saying how wonderful Ed was and that his 'journey' was what it used to be like in the early days of the programme and was just how it should be. I could not find myself in disagreement with him.

Everyone is hoping that Ed will make the B word - Blackpool. Then the serious business and the serious contenders will be clear and the fun candidate always goes home.   The judges will find as well that their favourites, which they always deny having, will be whittled out by the voters at home who can spot bias a mile off. The judges never learn and when they find one of their favourites in the dance off get all superior about the proles voting at home which never fails to make me laugh.

Tess and Claudia were as usual, that is dire and brill. Both wearing Halloween black though Claudia is usually in this colour every week and with her black eyeliner looks ready for Halloween throughout the entire year so this week she did not look any different. Tess seems to have a predilection for one armed dressed - Why? Also when she wears this somebody should really make sure she has a good support bra.

So quite glad to get that show out of the way. Onward and upward.

 

Ghost stories - books for Halloween (3) Funny ghosts

I assume most of you who celebrate Halloween have already done so last night, Saturday being the most convenient day, but I think I just have time to squeeze two more ghost recommendations before the actual date, And I have to do these as they are funny ghosts. Yes there are some ...

The Canterville Ghose - Oscar Wilde.   Another of these simply gorgeous books from Hesperus who have a lovely selection of books in their catalogue and their reprints, particularly the junior list.  I had never read this long/short story about a ghost haunting the stately home Canterville Chase, now owned by an American family who could not care less about the ghastly spectre. They leap out on him when he is drifting and haunting and scare him something shocking and is in despair as the recurring bloodstains on the floor and his clanking chains have no effect whatsoever.   The final straw is when the twins of the house dress up as a ghost and leap out and scare him..

Witty, of course as it is Wilde, and had me laughing. Also rather sweet and sad. Loved it.

The other book I must mention is from Alma Classics - After Supper Ghost Stories by Jerome K Jerome and these really had me giggling. One of my all time favourite funny books is Three Men on a Boat which always but always reduces me to helpless laughter (though I have to say that having read Three Men on a Bummel I have to say that that title is even funnier), so when I was sent this I opened it up in great anticipation and I was not disappointed.

"It was Christmas Eve.....the experienced reader knows it was Christmas Eve without my telling him. It always is Christmas Eve in a ghost story. It is the
ghost's great gala night. They hold their annual fete. Everybody in ghost land who is anybody, or rather speaking of ghosts, one should say, every nobody who is any nobody- comes out to show themselves, to see and be seen to promenade about and display their winding sheets and grave clothes...and sneer at one another's complexion"

Now how can you resist that? I couldn't and spend a happy couple of days hunkered down in the warm, but NOT in the dark reading these tales. They are set in the house of Uncle John and his family and his guests tell their stories about their encounters with ghosts. Odd that everybody has actually met one but no matter. They are witty, they are funny and, yes, a few of them have a slightly creepy tinge...

Two little paperbacks which are sheer delight and can be read at any time - you are under no obligation to wait until Christmas Eve or Halloween or Guy Fawkes Night or any other time. A ghost story is scary/creepy/funny at any time of the year though perhaps they would lost their atmosphere if read on a beach in a bikini....

Ghost stories - books for Halloween (2)

OK I am cheating a bit tonight as I am going to revisit Susan Hill's The Woman in Black which I read a few years ago and which reduced me to a quivering wreck. I have just watched the last ever Great British Bake Off and I had a post planned but am in no fit state to produce it after waving goodbye to Bezza, Mel and Sue. I am ignoring Paul.

Now, the Woman in Black is a seriously scary book and I would not recommend that you do what I did, which was to prop myself up in bed one night, cup of chocolate and dunking biscuits on bedside table, curtains drawn and book in hand.  It's not very long I thought to myself, I can read this straight through and then snuggle down in bed and go to sleep.  Those of you out there who have read this book are no doubt already sniggering and you will be right to do so. 

This is one of the scariest books I have ever read. Fact.  Why?  There are no dead bodies, there are no ghouls, no vampires, no bats, no blood,  no Pits and definitely no Pendulums, but what there is, and in abundance, is ATMOSPHERE.   Susan Hill creates the atmosphere and then hands over to you, the reader, to scare yourself witless.

So what do we have?  A  young lawyer, Arthur Kipps (sorry simply cannot imagine Daniel Radcliffe in this role), comes to a little town on the  fens to attend the funeral of one of his clients who lived and died alone in a house on the marshes.  He is engaged to be married and hopes to be promoted soon and that carrying out this assignment well will do him nothing but good.  He arrives at the funeral and sees an emaciated, dreadfully ill looking Woman in Black in the graveyard.  When asking who she is his companion goes white, will not answer, shakes and drags him away.  So, we know straight away that she is a ghost.

At this stage, all is set fair and the reader is thinking O goody this is going to be creepy. Well, just how creepy it is going to be is VERY creepy.  Arthur sets off to Eel Marsh House to go through the papers and blithely announces that it makes no sense to be driven backwards and forwards each day and it will be much more convenient to stay in the house until he finishes his task.  Oh the arrogance of youth.

He is driven across a causeway to the house  'we went on in silence save for a hissing silky sort of sound...I looked up ahead and saw a tall gaunt house of grey stone ...the most astonishingly situated house I had ever seen, or could conceivably have imagined, isolated, uncompromising..."

Ok the scene is set and now over to you do reader and go ahead and go into a blind panic. All I am going to say about this book is that Kipp's stay at Eel Marsh house reduces him to terror and panic, the wind howls at night, he hears a thudding noise in an empty room, he hears a child crying in the darkness and the sounds of a carriage with its passengers being sucked down into the marshes surrounding the house.

"I had never known my knees to tremble and my flesh to creep and then to turn cold as stone, never known my heart to give a great lurch as if it would leap into my dry mouth, and then begin pounding in my chest like a hammer on an anvil....never know myself gripped and held fast by such dread and horror and apprehension of evil"

Just remember my earlier warning, do NOT read this book as I did, late at night.  I can tell you now you will not be able to go to sleep afterwards.  Should you decide to make a hot drink to help you nod off, that too is impossible.  You will be too afraid to go to the kitchen.....

Au reservoir

Strictly Come Dancing 2016 - Week Five

So farewell Lesley. It has been great having you but unless you were up against Ed in the dance off, I am afraid you were always going to go. Daisy and Aljaz - well no way were the judges going to vote them off and really I wondered why they bothered having the Dance off at all quite frankly.

Mixed show this week. Seems to have hit the mid season plateau, always happens. Excitement over, we know the Good, the Bad and the Ugly and then the hard work has to kick in.  And boy do we know it is Hard Work as it is said dozens of times each week either by Tess (an neauseam) as per and all the Slebs as well and then we get it on It Takes Two when the pros tell us earnestly that their partners are Working SO Hard. I look forward to the day when one Pro says well actually they are bone bloody idle, totally useless and we will be chucked out this week.

First thing to say is that Ed is through. Now much as I love him he really should have gone this week as he was awful. But but but, I think the BBC are deliberately arranging for him to have awful dances and songs to enhance the Awfulness factor and I wish they would pack it in. He is doing the cha cha cha next week and really he will be a goner. I would like to see him do a slow Foxtrot or the Viennese Waltz.

Kevin Clifton and Louise Thingy - blimey he is irritating. His hair now looks really odd and all of us on the Strictly blog think he has had a hair weave or something - he spent most of this week wearing a hat so it was obviously bedding in. He and Louise were doing a rumba and for some reason this necessitated a visit to Paris where they danced under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. WHY and WHO paid for it? I did that is who along with every license fee holder. I have better things to do with my money than pay for him to ponce off.   Craig made a very acerbic comment about it which the audience loved. Really beige couple.

Ore and Joanna Clifton (yes the sister of the Kevin) - waltz this week which was lovely and of course highly marked. The Judges have them on their list of Who we Want to See in the Final unless the GBP do not Scupper it First.

Danny Mac and Oti - did a rumba.  I am quite smitten with him. He looks gorgeous and seems a nice bloke. Yes we know he has had dance experience so highly unlikely to get to the Final but love watching him.  His fiance is always in the audience supporting him though as she was engaged before to Ricky Whittle who got too close to his partner when HE was in Strictly, she is obviously making sure it does not happen to her again...

Natalie and Greg - great pair. Her legs go up to her ears and she is gorgeous though this week she had obviously been too long in the tanning booth as she was the colour of a ronseal fence.   They were obviously expecting to be in bottom two and stunned when they were not.

The Hobbits are through. Yuk.

Daisy and Aljaz did a rather sweet if underwhelming Charleston and ended up in the dance off. I think she is a lovely girl, rather warm to her and of course Aljaz is well....mmmmmm. She may also find herself on the receiving end of a backlash by the GBP as the Judges have her lined up for the Final as well if they can manage it.

Judge Rinder though must remember to call him Robert - he is a real sweetie and think he will last another week or two.

Anastasia did a lovely quickstep WITHOUT Brendon who is ill and danced with the Divine Gorka instead and Len said it was her best dance yet. She seemed much happier without Brendon, hardly surprising really

The Irish TV presenter whose name I keep forgetting, as do most of those watching, has hurt her ankle so was given a bye. We had an endless VT of her suffering badly and biting a quivering lip while Joe Varney (Giovanni) stood by trying to pretend he was really caring and empathizing with her when really he was thinking Dio Mio I may be off the show!!!   She will be back next week I gather.

Please note that in the absence of Jo Varney his bottle of olive oil was used by AJ on his hair this week. Surprised his fellow Hobbit did not shoot off him every time they went into hold. Oh and note to AJ on seeing him in training all week - The only man who can get away with wearing an Alice band is David Beckham, not you.

So unless there is anybody who is not aware of it by now, next week is Halloween which I always find rather fun and the costume and make up department really come into their own. Claudia will come in her usual get up as she always looks as if it is Halloween each week in her hair and slap and we hope that Tess will be given something to wear that will jolt her out of her blandness though I fear this is a vain hope. She continues to be unfunny, wooden and the kiss of death to any joke punch line. Why she still has a job baffles us all on the Strictly Blog.

Judges were as ever. Bruno wildly over marking, Len complaining that there was too much Mucking Abaht, Darcy saying Yah with the upward inflection at the end of every sentence and Craig, though a pain in the derriere, continues to be the judge who makes the most sense.

I am sure I have forgotten someone you know but I cannot think who...

Never mind

Au Reservoir

Off for a few days

I am off to London tomorrow to see family and hug my precious grandchildren. They have half term next week but they start this half term on Friday, seems a bit odd, but no matter so both grandmothers are meeting up and looking after Florence and Beatrice. I am getting there tomorrow and will be able to collect them from school which I always enjoy and we will go into the caff on the way home and have a drink and a cake and they will try and con me into buying them a jam doughnut which their mother does NOT allow and I dare not else I will be in trouble. But we won't tell grandma they say. Well I do not agree with encouraging children to keep secrets from their parents says she piously when the real reason is that I KNOW they will rush home and say mum mum mum grandma bought us a doughnut!  Oh yes they will. They have landed me in the soup before and I am scared of being told off...

I am into this swimming lark. Yes I have joined a gym. Do not faint at the back. Not for the use of those ghastly machines that I swear will grab you and squash you and grind you to pulp if you let them, but for the pool which is heated and lovely.  My back has improved no end since I started going. All of us in the pool are oldies and are all weird shapes and sizes and incredibly friendly. There is one elderly gentleman there who passes me in the lane as we both do our decorous breast stroke who always greets me with Hello Love which I find rather endearing.

Aqua aerobics this morning which is exhausting - being in water does not make it any easier - and I have now worked out that if I position myself by the steps I can hop out, well stagger out more like, quickly get through the shower, always on the hottest setting bliss, and then snag one of the small changing cubicles where you can shut the door and get dressed in privacy, before everyone else gets there. Compared to some ladies there I am Twiggy but I still do not wish to expose my flabby bits to them though I know full well they would not bat an eyelid.

Anyway reason for this ramble is that both grandparents are now going to take Florence and Beatrice swimming on Friday. When I was in Italy earlier in the summer the girls got really excited that Grandma was in the pool as they had never seen me swim before and we had a great time. I have a feeling though that Richmond pool may not be as warm as the one I am used to....

Just watched the Great British Bake Off and horrid to think we have one more episode and then that is that and it is going to Channel 4. I have gone right off Paul Hollywood cos he is staying with the show and moving across to The Dark Side. I should not, the bloke has every right to make a living but if he had declined and all four presenters said they would not go, Channel 4 might have thought twice about forking out so much money for it.

Ah well worse things happen at sea.

And on that cheerful note I will say goodnight to you all and go and snuggle down into my bed which now has a wondrous mattress topper on it and is just soooo comfy I never want to get up.

Au reservoir

Strictly Come Dancing 2016 - Week Four

Well the third dancer has gone and it was Naga and Twitter was awash with accusations of racism which the Daily Mail has picked up on and given prominence to. I was somewhat heartened to see that most of the comments under this argument were more or less telling the Mail to piss off and nothing of the kind. One assumes that if Lesley Joseph, aged 70 had gone there would have been cries of agism. No doubt when Greg goes as he will in a few weeks, there will be calls of 'Gingerism'. Of course if three lily white slebs had been kicked off nobody would have said a word. Whole thing is barking.

Quite a fun show on Saturday. Judges favourites are pretty clear this year: Daisy and Louise. Not their fault but it is clear that they are lined up to be Teacher's Pet. This could cause problems down the line when the Great British Public get Fed Up with it and Turn Nasty.   Both of them seem to be really sweet nice ladies though Daisy emoting about her recently passed Grandfather in week one was a tad over the top (whatever happened to keeping grief private?) and Louise wheeled her kids in the other week. No doubt she has a grandparent lurking offstage somewhere for when the going gets rough. Laura, in the dance off last week, wheeled out her cute fluffy little dog to make sure it did not happen twice.....

Lesley Joseph was terrific doing a great Charleston with Anton. If I was half as fit as Lesley and I am now approaching the Big 70, I would be a happy woman though I do wish people would stop going on about it in a condescending way ....yes Tess I do mean you.

I know Danny Mac has had dance experience but that does not stop me from enjoying his superb routine in white tie and tails to 'I won't dance don't ask me' a la Astaire. Sheer delight and I loved it.

Louise and Kevin - very nice

Daisy and Aljaz - underwhelming rhumba. Mind you I was watching Aljz most of the time so perhaps I should not criticize

Brendon and Anastasia - awful

The Munchkins/The Borrowers whatever you want to call them - Claudia and Aj sickeningly sweet. I find this couple slightly creepy. Don't ask because I don't know.

Greg and Nat - like these two very much. Salsa was ok but relied a bit on spectacular lifts and will he manage them or not as the poor guy had a wrist injury during the week and we had a scene filmed with it being looked at by an anxious doctor.   Of course we knew he would manage it.

Highlight of the night was Ore and Joanne Clifton (the only good thing about Will Young leaving was that we had one less Clifton to put up with but blimey they are everywhere) doing a stunning jive which garnered a 9 and three 10s. Ore is black and came top of the leader-board which rather puts the racism lot to sleep. Great dancer, lovely chat but Gawd he never stops weeping.   This gave the Ghastly Wooden One aka Tess a chance to pat him on the cheek and say Poor Baby at which the comments on the Guardian blog went into overdrive. As one we all think she is DREADFUL. How she keeps the job I do not know. I think the BBC feel sorry for her, after all she is married to Vernon Kay who has a penchant for sending slutty texts to ladies so perhaps she needs to get out of the house and leave him behind.

Ed Balls was truly awful this week in his paso. I mean not even funny awful, just plain awful. He was dressed up as a knight slaying a dragon which was totally pathetic and has nothing to do with a paso at all. Lots of people have made the comment that the BBC should stop making him the comedy act and let him be given a decent dance to do. I gather he has the American Smooth this week so let us see. Same applies to Judge Rinder. Lovely Viennesse waltz but danced dressed in lederhosen to the tune of Boom bang a bang which Lulu took to the Eurovison song contest some thirty years ago. Once the BBC have you in a slot, ie Funny Man or Funny Camp Man or Funny Two Left Feet Man then you are made to stay there.

Naga was booted out and quite rightly, she never looked as if she enjoyed it and her Charleston was pretty poor and it had to be poor to be beaten by Anastasia and Brendon in the dance off as she is pretty poor too, but she is a Brave Woman who has Gone Through a Lot so she will be kept in a bit longer.

Of course did my usual and found out who was eliminated before I went to sleep by logging onto a certain website. This means of course that I sleep easy and can sit and snigger at the show the next day which tries to fool us into thinking it is live when EVERYONE knows it was filmed two hours after the show on Saturday night. About time the BBC dropped this pathetic farce but as they specialise in treating viewers as if they were pig ignorant it will continue.

But knowing who left also meant I had one thing less to worry about on Sunday morning as it was time to watch Andy Murray in the final at Shanghai and my nerves oh my nerves were shredded as per. Still he won it and I could not be more delighted.   Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep playing Andy!

The Haunted Library - Classic Ghost Stories from the British Library

I am the lucky recipient of many books from the British Library and am eternally grateful to them for their kindness and generosity. The majority of them are the glorious Classic Crime series but other gems come my way as well and the other day I received The Haunted Library - classic ghost stories edited by Tanya Kirk whose job title makes me green with envy - Lead Curator, Printed Heritage Collections 1601-1900. Just think of all the wonderful and fascinating books and authors this covers.

Her introduction sets the scene perfectly for this collection: "Anyone who has made an evening visit to the British Library's stacks, deep underground in the Euston Road building, can tell you that books have a sort of silent presence.....after retrieval ends and the library assistants go home, checking a reference down there can be eerily quiet....all those hundreds of years of people's voices, their lives and experiences, recorded in books tht have passed through so many hands - the impressions they leave behind mean you never feel totally alone"...

Years ago when I worked in the library system, I used to go down to the stacks in the central library where I was based and on a quiet evening when I was on late shift, which meant I was on duty till 8pm, I found it quite creepy down there and used to get back upstairs into the light and warmth of the main library as soon as possible. This feeling came straight back to me when I read the above paragraph.

All these stories involve a library or books, people vanish from a library, awful things happen to them in a library, evil books exude a powerful influence - you get the drift. This is a wonderful collection. I did make sure I read this in daylight as I remember how I felt on my first (and last) reading of The Woman in Black by Susan Hill - more of which later, which reduced me to a gibbering wreck. So no risks this time.

There are familiar ghost writers here - Algernon Blackwood are two of the most familiar. Then the names of Margaret Irwin, Elizabeth Bowen and May Sinclair surprised me, ditto Dennis Mackail who I know from his novel Greenery Street, which was published several years ago by Persephone and is sheer delight. Not all the stories are dark and scary, there are a couple which are quite funny but I am not going to identify them or give any hints as to the content of this terrific book as I want you to purchase it and read it yourself.

I will just finish off by saying that I was delighted to see the first story is Afterward written by Edith Wharton. She writes marvellous ghost stories and I really urge you to get hold of them and give them a go. I am not recommending any particular imprint, many are available and sure you can get them for your Kindle, but they show another side of this author's genius and I do think she is one. Such a superb writer.

In this story an American couple move into an old house in England and are delighted to hear that it is haunted as they, wrongly, feels it all adds to its charm. They are told "Oh there is one of course, but you'll never know it....well not till afterward at any rate.....not till long long afterward..."

Just bear that in mind and enjoy.......

And of course you really should read this book, if you are brave, by a fireside with the curtains drawn and a howling gale outside. If you can manage it.

Strictly Come Dancing 2016 - Week Three

I think I have now got sorted out who the assorted Slebs are. I think. No actually I don't think I have, but it doesn't really matter.

This week was Movie Week and usually the themed nights are dire but this year it was surprisingly good. All the Guardianista bloggers (I am one) who appear on the live blog were in agreement on this. Mind you we have Halloween Week coming up which is pretty dreadful and of course, BLACKPOOL!! The HOME OF BALLROOM! FISH and CHIPS! DONKEYS! ILLUMINATIONS....must stop am feeling faint.

Judges say they do not have favourites. HAH!!   This year Daisy Lowe is clearly the one they all love and want to get through. She is rather sweet and looks gorgeous and dances well but so far has not earned the superlatives heaped upon her. But she is dancing with Aljaz (never know how to spell his name) so for that reason alone I hope she stays in to the end just so I have the pleasure of looking at him. Well, a girl has to have something and now Gleb has gone 'sob' what am I to do?

Anastasia and Brendon - felt she should have gone. If you can't dance in the dance off then you should not be there. Brendon looks fairly cheesed off this series. Actually, Brendon looks cheesed off most of the time. The year he had Lulu he hit rock bottom in the cheesed off stakes. He came up against the biggest Ego of the lot and that really really cheesed him off. Too much cheese this week - see my thoughts below on Ball and Boe.

Joe Varney (Giovanni) and Laura (who?) were in the dance off tonight and quite honestly, I think it is because nobody really knows who she is. I gather she is a friend of Georgia who danced with Giovanni last year and they fell in lurve and then he dumped her just before this series started and Laura is a friend of Georgia who was so cross she stopped following her on Twitter but now I gather is following her again and wishing her luck and the papers are going potty and IT IS ALL TOO MUCH TO BEAR.

Judge Rinder or Rhiner whatever - quite sweet and we know you are gay darling but you can overdo it you know. Also would help if he shut his mouth occasionally and stopped drooling when he is dancing.

Will Young who is dancing with Karen who is now married to Kevin and is therefore a Clifton. There are far too many Cliftons in this show and we all hate them.  He is lovely. Watching them dance I thought of the old joke about Ben Hur. Loved him did not like her. But want him to get through so we will have to grit teeth and think nice thoughts about Karen. I am sure it can be done....

Kevin Clifton (husband of Karen) is dancing with Louise Redknapp (wife of Jamie footballer. I know I should not describe her as just his wife but not sure what else she has done. Think she was in a girl group. Isn't everybody?) Her dance was to Got a Feeling from Flashdance - heroine in this was a welder I think which always struck me as being seriously weird. Anyway she was pretty good and gave it some welly.

Claudia Fragipane and AJ somebody. Why is he called AJ? Perhaps he has awful names and is embarrassed by them. Algernon Josiah? Aloysius Jerome? Arbuthnot ... sorry have run out of ideas. Anyway he looks about twelve and so does Claudia but they did a wonderful Charleston to Bugsy Malone and chucked cream pies around and it all got a bit childish. As they both look as if they should be in school this fitted in well.

Greg Long Jump and Natalie - Nat is my favourite lady dancer, she is gorgeous and kind and fabulous and I love watching her. She and Greg danced to everything I do from robin Hood which is one of the cheesiest songs ever but I love love love it and this was a great routine.

Tameka and Gorka - he is the latest Russian/Bulgarian/Ukrainian take your pick to join the show and is rather fetching. This week he and Tameka, the obligatory East Ender with a laugh that would shatter glass, did a tango dressed as policeman. Don't ask. Even the sight of Gorka's truncheon was not enough to save them from the dance off.

OK getting tired now and longing to go to bed. I now have a super duper mattress topper on it and would happily spend all day there if I could so I am going to finish up and leap under the duvet and snuggle with cries of joy.

BUT must end up with Ed. Did a totally barking mad samba dressed with a green face - Jim Carey film the Mask I gather - and got through because people are getting such joy out of watching him. Craig was as sarcastic as ever about it. We know Ed is not going to win, the funny turns never do, so do wish that Craig would just embrace it all and have fun the miserable sod.

The results show tonight hit rock bottom with the rendition of Somewhere from West Side Story, a simply glorious touching duet between Maria and Tony, sung by the utterly ghastly out of tune awful pair of Michael Ball and Alfie Boe. Michael Ball is beginning to look like one as he gets more rotund each time I see him. That is not often, admittedly, as I do not exactly rush when I hear he is around. Alfie Boe made great play with the fact that he was a trained tenor and was at Covent Garden but hated the snobbery of it all and so decided to sing for the 'people' instead and be a cross over artist. Seems to me being a cross over artist means you sing badly in both genres. He is pretty poor and the combo of him and Ball made my eyes and ears bleed. I suppose I should be grateful that Andre Bocelli wasn't there either (he will be no doubt in a week or two) and then the three of them could have sung Three Little Maids from School from the Mikado.

I know I have not written about everybody but there are still Too Many of Them.

I am just glad that Ed got through and lives to make us laugh another day.

Oh and just to finish off the evening Claudia was wearing a white dress that looked like she was being prepared to be taken down to theatre...

Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep dancing!

Oh forgot to say, Tameka gone.

C is from Crime and R is for Reading Crime

Crime lovers and readers of the ABC series by Sue Grafton will twig the meaning of the title of this post straight away. I am on one of my Binge Reads. Others may binge on box sets (though I have done that too in the past) but I tend to find an author I like and then work my way throughout the entire series in one go and then feel bereft at the end and say So What Do I Do Now?

I never learn.

Sue Grafton has written a series of books A is for Alibi, B is for Burglar, C for Corpse, D for Detective etc and so far I have read A through to H, leapt ahead to X and W, purely because they were on the library shelves, and am now working through from I to V. They are never in the library, only the two I found, a sweep of charity shops locally has brought forth none, so I am buying them for my Kindle. They are not the cheapest but I am so immersed in them now that I am buying them three at a time.

The heroine, or should that be hero nowadays, is Kinsey Millhone a private investigator. Used to work for the police, did not like it, left, married twice but prefers living on her own (oh how I empathise with that), has a lovely landlord Henry, who though 80 is elegant and handsome and a good cook. Perhaps she should marry him...

All the stories are exciting, well written with a great pace and snappy dialogue and I am enjoying every single one. At the moment the author has Y and Z left to write. What happens after that I wonder? I hope she continues. Aa Bb Cc? Or perhaps she will start using numbers? I do hope so.

Kate Rhodes - Alice Quentin books. Yes and I have just read the latest in this series, Blood Symmetry. Was sent the first one by this author some years ago by the publishers. Read and thought oh this is good, wonder if there will be any more and yes each year one pops up and I have either been sent it or bought it.

Alice is a London-based forensic psychologist. She has issues. Well, it would not be a good detective story if the main protagonist was well balanced and happy. Her parents had a bitter marriage which has left her mark on her, relationship with her mother is bad and to top it off, her brilliant brother has imploded and gone AWOL with bipolar problems and descends on her in his bouts of madness and turns her life upside down. She has bad relationships with men, quelle surprise, and is the perfect heroine to star in a detective series. You may think I am being a tad sarcastic, perhaps I am, but these books are terrific.   So well written with great characterisation and great pace and style. Once you start reading you cannot stop, well I can't anyway and have read all of these books through at one go when I lay my hands on them.  

Clare Riordan and her son Mikey are abducted from Clapham Common early one morning. Hours later, the boy is found wandering disorientated. Soon after, a pack of Clare's blood is left on a doorstep in the heart of the City of London. Later, a blood specialist is kidnapped and found murdered in a gruesome manner on an operating table in an old hospital museum. Then another is taken and a link is discovered. They were all linked with a scandal in which contaminated blood was imported and used on patients resulting in death and disease. Somebody is out for revenge.

A real nail biter with a great ending - I will admit to guessing the identity of the baddie half way through but this made no difference to the created tension.   An excellent book and I can really recommend this series. But do start from book one if you do as the characters develop over the period of time and it makes better sense if they are read in order.   And, yes I say that as one who reads wildly out of order....

On my TBR heap at the moment, both on my table and on my Kindle, are the latest Linda Castillo book set in Amish country, love these and the latest Montalbano which I am saving up as a treat. I did read a chapter last night and ended up falling about laughing but resolutely shut it up. I like to know it is there waiting for me.

I also have the latest Susan Hill ghost book to read. This I am keeping to read in DAYLIGHT. I read her Woman in Black years ago late at night and was so petrified I could not get out of bed to go to the loo in case something awful happened to me. Yes really. So will report back on this in due course.

Au reservoir

Strictly Come Dancing 2016 - week two

Beginning to know the contestants now and by that it means I know them on the show, does not mean that I know what they do to qualify as Slebs as some of them seem to me to be non qualifiers in this respect. I am sorry but being a DJ on Isle of Man late night radio or fronting a chat show in the Outer Hebrides does not mean you are a fully blown SLEB. I will tell you who is the bang on SLEB at this year's Strictly and it is Ed Balls.

Yep Ed Balls.

That bullying, obnoxious member of the Labour government and ally of Brown. Jeez what a ghastly pairing. How I rejoiced when he lost his seat at the last election. Ho Ho that will teach him thinks I.  So what will he do now he is no longer and MP?   He decided to go off and learn to play the piano.  I began to think that perhaps he was not so bad after all.   Long period of not knowing what he was up to, did not fret about it and then up he pops on a Celebrity Sports Relief edition of The Great British Bake Off and he was lovely. Charming, witty, amusing, deprecating and a damn good cook. His show stopper was a ski run cake and it was clear that he was hugely competitive and wanted to win. He did not but took it all in good part. I really began to warm to him.

However, when I heard he was going to appear on Strictly I did rather think Oh Come On what do you think you are doing?  Scorn and derision from all sides.   The opening show did not sooth our worries. Stiff as a board, dressed in suit and tie while all around were glittering and sparkly he stood out like a sore thumb. First show he did a waltz. Now I found it rather elegant and charming but the judges were more restrained and it goes without saying that Craig Revel Horwood was his usual charmless and obnoxious self. I believe he is the best judge as he is much more likely to come to the correct decision about a performance, but he seems to go out of his way to be unpleasant and it is not necessary. 

Anyway, first week nobody gets chucked out so he was safe for a bit. My daughter, Helen, was absolutely certain he would be heaved off the Strictly roundabout pretty quickly but I was not so sure. And after Saturday night it was clear that he was this year's Jeremy Vine or Hairy Biker or, I was going to say Anne Widdicombe but that would be an insult as not only was she dire but unpleasant with it. 

Ed did a Charleston which had me howling with laughter and stunned surprise. It was barking mad, it was hilarious, it was a total joy. The audience went totally potty at the end cheering and yelling and all on their feet (this of course meant that Tess could say They are on their Feet!! hardly be on anything else actually) and I cannot recall having laughed so much in a long time.   Goes without saying that Craig was utterly vile and though I know he is cast as the Villain of the Piece, I do think his attitude was totally wrong. Check out the link

 

I found out, by devious means, later on in the evening that he had got through. I do not think I could have slept peacefully if I had not known the result. So I am looking forward to watching the results show on Sunday evening (I am writing this before the show but not posting just yet as I do not wish to give away the result to those who do not know) and am awaiting the huge cheer that will go up when he goes through.

I have watched the video of this dance several times today and each time I am helpless with laughter and beaming with joy. My last post was on Hygge and this was a perfect example of it.

My daughter Helen emailed me asking does he stay in? Gosh Mum I really don't want him to go yet. Add to that Twitter going into meltdown and Ed receiving tweets from the likes of Osborne and Brown and you just gotta love it.

Keeeep dancing.