I will be back to posting again next week but felt so sad and unable to concentrate at the moment. People have asked Why are you feeling this way? You did not know the Duke of Edinburgh and of course I didn't. But he and the Queen have been part of my life and have always been there from childhood to adulthood. My mother died when she was 98 and the sense of disbelief when a long term family member is gone is a huge shock. And so I felt it too.
I am writing this after having watched the funeral and I found it intensely moving. The saddest sight of all was the Queen sitting on her own with a mask on a small figure in black who surely must be in a state of disbelief that this has finally happened.
When she arrived and got out of the car I felt quite shocked. She looked diminished and for one moment I thought she was very wobbly on her feet. Two people I have spoken to in the last hour have said the same.
The entire event was, as always when the Royal Family are involved, superbly organised and, despite the restrictions, deeply felt and I was in tears for most of it. When the lone bagpiper played a lament, well that finished me off completely.
The sun shone, the army and the navy were immaculate, the music wonderful and, somehow, I think the Duke would have been thankful that it was not a huge state occasion. I felt he would have approved.
I shall miss him and just hope that the Queen stays with us a while yet. My admiration for her is unbounded.
