Random Jottings

Madly, Deeply - the Diaries of Alan Rickman

When Alan Rickman died a few years ago I was so upset. One of my favourite actors, seemingly able to act effortlessly, full of charisma and charm and humour. So I was looking forward to reading his diaries which have just been published. 

Well, it has been said that one should never meet one's heroes. I now feel that one should never read the diaries of one's heroes.   I found myself totally discombobulated by the character which emerged from these writings. I have said it many times, and will no doubt again, that when you read a diary the true personality and the author permeates the page. There is no hiding place.  Years ago I read the musings of Sir Laurence Olivier, widely regarded (not by me incidentally) as one of the world's greatest actors. The conceit and vanity that emanated from his writing was palpable.   Noel Coward - now his diaries are witty and amusing and astringent, but above all, kind.   The Richard Burton diaries were an outpouring of an emotional man who held nothing back and who owned up to his faults, warts and all and they were simply wonderful.

After Alan Rickman died the number of assorted thesps and colleagues who rushed to say what a great person he was, how kind, how he had helped them with their career, how thoughtful he had been, were legion.  So it comes as a shock to read Madly, Deeply and discover his real thoughts on the aforesaid friends and fellow actors.  

Alexander Larman, who writes for the Spectator, has recently reviewed these diaries and writes that "the abiding impression is that it is miserable to be an actor in demand. There is endless complaining about long plane journeys, interminable times spent in make up or waiting to go on set, meetings with ignorant financiers and rapacious agents and co-stars who did not meet Rickman's exacting professional standards"

Dismissive, caustic and rarely a good word to say for anybody and deeply obsessed with his own thoughts and pain these pages make for very uncomfortable reading. And, yes, irritating too as I felt myself snorting Of for goodness sake stop moaning, you have a life and a career that others would kill for and you are unhappy and miserable. 

There were times when his anguish, such as it was, was expressed in terms that I found, for want of a better description, pure luvvie.

On starting a film "I have a feeling that the need is there throughout the unit, but there is a shyness at the top which coagulates unhappily with the arrogance factor and makes visible vulnerability impossible"

I struggled with this book, I freely admit it and also labour under a sense that I may be doing Rickman a disservice with this review. I so wanted to read it and love it and find out about the inner man.

Alexander Larman put his finger on it when he said "he seems a deeply unhappy stressed man, forever busy and exhausted by a punitive work scheule.........a craft seemed to bring him enormous professional respect but little personal joy"

There is one entry that seemed to sum up my feelings after ploughing through the diaries.  A director comes to see him on set. "for some reason he was on the attack. 'Would it hurt you to show some fucking charm?' I was stunned, asked him not to speak to me like that, he nearly stormed out......as I write this I'm still bewildered. Had people been nagging him?"

Rickman seems to have a total lack of understanding of how others might see him. Self obsessed to a startling degree but he must have hidden it well for the fulsome tributes following his death.  

If I am being honest I wish I had not read this book.

Courtiers - Valentine Low

The sub title of Courtiers is the Hidden Power behind the Throne and the author takes us into the byways and and the backrooms of Royal life. All totally fascinating.

The first question to ask is what is a courtier?  According to dictionaries I have checked it seems there are two definitions:

• A person who is often in attendance at the court of a King or other royal personage
• A person who seeks favour by flattery, charm etc

It is made clear in this book is that in certain cases both definitions can apply, but what struck me in reading this admirable book, is that most of the courtiers or advisers attending the Royal Family over the last fifty years seem remarkably free of self-aggrandisement and are intensely loyal to whom they serve.  

Courtiers has been extensively trailed and serialised in the press and, naturally, the papers involved wish to give it as much publicity as possible, hence the impression given that this book is mainly about the Tiresome Two, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.  Good click bait but thankfully, they only form a small part of the narrative.

A story, which may be apocryphal, sets the scene. A senior member of the Queen’s household, who had originally come from Buckingham Palace on secondment from his job working for the Australian government, was on his way back home when he was stopped at immigration control at Sydney airport.  The man at the desk leafed through his passport until he came to the page where the adviser had entered his profession.   He looked at it, gave the passport back with the comment “Mate there is no T in courier”

To the contemporary reader the use of the word courtier is an anachronism.   If we look back in history we could imagine fawning characters in knee breeches and intriguing in whispers and lurking in corridors.   I think the correct word to be used today is Advisors.  Heaven knows it is clear there are many of them around, secretaries, press secretaries, permanent secretaries, valets etc etc all of which have a clearly defined role and, in the main, fill them admirably. 

If you have watched The Crown on Netflix at all, you may be familiar with the portrayal of Alan Lascelles (know as Tommy). He began his royal service under Edward VIII when Prince of Wales and went on to become the epitome of the old fashioned Palace insider. “I have a very deep admiration for the Prince and I am convinced that the future of England is as much in his hands as in those of any individual”  His views changed on closer acquaintance.  “the cold fact remains that it would be a real disaster if, by any ill chance, he was called on to accede the throne now and that none of us see any prospect of his fitting himself any better as time goes on”

They say no man is a hero to his valet. It is clear that this also applies to those in his service.

Courtiers seem to have a rough time of it on the whole.  Always on call and not particularly well remunerated but as they are mostly recruited from a small pool of relations, friends and recommendations, intensely loyal.   It is natural that they are chosen from certain circles as they know how things work, how to behave round their Boss and are not intimidated by them. This does lead to criticism of a lack of diversity and broader thinking in the Palace and among the family but this has changed considerably over the last thirty years.   Princess Diana chose more informal and interesting advisors, many of whom she discarded as her marriage disintegrated and she regarded them as “men in grey suits” who were betraying her.  Patrick Jephson was a case in point and fell foul of her mistrust much to his deep distress. It was only in the last year or so when the Bashir interview had been dissected and found to have been a betrayal and deception of the Princess, did he realise why he had lost his job.  

The Queen Mother sounded fun to work for.  Her extravagance and love of a gin and tonic or two is well known and it seems she understood her courtiers need to have a bit of fun now and again. Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, who later worked for William and Harry, had invited friends back to the Equerry’s rooms at Clarence House for a few drinks. The next morning after a heavy night and after leaving the room in disarray he managed to crawl into his uniform just in time to attend the Queen Mother as she mounted the carriage to take her to Horse Guards.

“did you have a party her last night Jamie?” she asked

“Ma’am I am sorry, I hope we did not disturb you” knowing full well they had

She replied “I’m so glad to see the place is being properly used”

I found Courtiers a very well written and informative book and, despite the publicity giving it the air of a gossipy trivial publication, it is anything but. It is clear there was jockeying for position and intrigue, inevitable in such a position, but as I have already said and it bears repetition, courtiers have an unenviable task, a short shelf life, and a very difficult role to play.

“You might be getting signals that your royal boss expects something quite informal, or is in a jolly mood, or the whole world is their friend. You are not their friend. So you bow and say ‘Good Morning Your Royal Highness’. These were reminders to her and to me and to anybody else who was listening that we are jolly matey today, but this is a formal relationship……the courtier’s job with a royal person is to remind them that they are different. You cross those lines at your peril. They are there for mutual protection. There is an understandable but very dangerous temptation to drop formality and encourage a kind of intimacy which never lasts”

Patrick Jephson, advisor to Princess Diana.

Lord Stamfordham, who served both Queen Victoria and George V would remind colleagues “we are ALL servants here, although some are more important than others”

Valentine Low has provided us with an exceptionally well researched and well written book.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Diplomatic Baggage - Brigid Keenan

I remember reading Bridget Keenan years ago and finding her journalistic style deft and with a light touch. She worked as an editor on Nova magazine, and the newspapers Observer and The Sunday Times.  She married a diplomat and from then had to choose between her own career or that of 'a trailing spouse' as she followed her husband around the world to the various places he was posted.

Six weeks after the wedding he was posted to Ethiopia and "it dawned on me that I would have to give up my wonderful job and follow him around the world or spend my life pining for rare glimpses of my beloved"

It was thirty five years before they returned to live in England permanently.

She admits she spent a lot of time weeping and wailing and though the author with great insight, honesty and humor takes us on a journey of her life there were times when I felt she must have been a bit of a trial to her husband who struck me as being a rock of certainty and self control. Traits that I assume are essential in the diplomatic service.

However, it seems she had reason to weep and wail as there was very little support or understanding for the wives of the diplomats who had to organise a life, social and otherwise, not understanding the language or having the faintest idea what to do. 

"Oh God I don't know if I can bear it. This is my first morning in Kazakhstan and it is only eleven o'clock and I've already run out of things to do and I have another four years to go until this posting comes to an end. How on earth am I going to get through it?"

Bridget Keenan decided to write this book when she met an unhappy young woman at a diplomatic party in Kazakhstan. She had just arrived, was a doctor but had just found out she could not practic and was desperately homesick.  By then the author was in her sixties and was asked 'you have been diong this for many years. It it worth it or should I leave my husband and go home and back to my job immediately?'

And that is the dilemma.  Bridget Keenan was a writer and a journalist so she was in a position to be able to do freelance work and carry on with her career, albeit at a distance, but this young woman was in a different position entirely. The author realised she could not give an honest answer but it made her decide to write Diplomatic Baggage to see if this would help her do so.

I am in two minds about this book. Yes, it is engaging and witty and written in a marvellously humurous study but I am not sure that it really give a clear view of life in the diplomatic service regarding The Wife.   This book is a re-issue, the first publication was in 2015 and one hopes that there are more support services now and more understanding of the sacrifices facing women in diplomatic circles.

My own daughter, Helen McCarthy, has written a book about diplomatic wives, Women of the World, and the Keenan book was in her bibliography which is when I first heard of it.  I know I am blowing my daughter's trumpet here, but it is well worth reading and is a history of women in the diplomatic service, not just as wives but as diplomats in their own right.

Bridget Keenan observes that friends and acquaintances seemed to think that diplomatic wives drank a lot of gin, had a great time and probably had affairs. She also points out that nobody wants to her about her life when she comes home.

"None of your friends are remotely interested.............I remember telling someone how worried we were in Syria about the collapse of peace talks with Israel and she interrrupted to say 'well I can't get worried about that I have a book to finish before Christmas'.

Once I stupidly blurted out to some close women friends at lunch that I didnt know what to do because my butler was leaving....I don't know how I ever lived that down"

And somehow that little anecdote summed up my feelings about this book.  No matter how funny the writing, the amusing anecdotes about dealing with inefficient servants and eccentric cooks, there is a patronising feeling, very slight I admit, in the narrative that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

But I leave it up to you to see how you feel because it IS very funny, very well written and did make me laugh.

A Random thank you

I am just dropping by to say hello to all my readers and followers and thank you for your patience during the summer when I have been largely absent.

As you know, my daughter was over from Australia on long service leave and was here for three wonderful months. We had not been together for three years because of Covid and so I decided I would just concentrate on being with her and book reviewing went out of the window. I have, natch, been reading but not as much as I usually do.

Of course, it has also been a sad summer as following the glorious Jubilee when I think most of us knew that the Queen would not be with us much longer, we had the sad news of her death. Almost impossible to imagine her not being there. Kathryn told me she was glad she was in the UK when it happened as she felt part of the sorrow and she spent the day with me when we watched the glory and the pageantry of her funeral.

It was simply marvellous to have my two together with my grandchildren and all be together.  We had a glorious holiday in France at Lake Annecy, Kathryn also went to Norfolk, visited friends all over the UK, and we had a spa day and other days when we just sat and nattered all day and reconnecting.  Wonderful.
Now Kathryn has returned to Australia, she left on Friday, and I am feeling bereft.  She messaged me last night to say she had arrived safely and now I am trying to get back on track. It is difficult but the saying Keep Calm and Carry On, though penned in far more horrendous circumstances, is my mantra.

We are having lovely mild, sunny Autumn days right now and I love this time of year when the leaves are changing colour and we have misty mornings. It is my favourite season and I do relish being inside nice and warm with the curtains drawn (as they are right now) and hunkering down.

I have various domestic bits and pieces to sort out which I gaily abandoned in July when Kathryn arrived and I am now quite looking forward to a grand sort out and with Christmas on the horizon there is a lot to do.

I am visiting a friend for a few days this week before I get back to my usual life style and it will be good to see her and catch up.

Then I will be back with a catch up of my reading and all things bookish.

So, once again, a big thank you to you all.